I Hate Jill Zarin Real Housewives of NJ July 12, 2010
We have a guest blogger for tonight’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey but I just wanted to put my two cents in about Watch What Happens Live tonight. This is the show that had A-list movie stars that actually watched The Real Housewives of New York with a few obvious exceptions (Jerry Seinfeld). Tonight’s episode Jacqueline and Teresa joined Andy Cohen speaking over one another, hanging on each other in an attempt to make fun of Danielle, I never laughed once, or even smiled. It was not funny at all!
Theresa Giudice even compared her bankruptcy situation to Donald Trump? I am convinced that this is not an act, Teresa is really just plain old stupid! Jacqueline is not a whole lot better, I used to think that at least Jacqueline had a little restraint and some class but no more!
On RHONJ tonight Jacqueline actually ran screaming after Danielle yelling, “I’ve read the court documents, Danielle”. We must have missed something…..that famous editing again!
Well I could go on and on but we do have a guest blogger this week so here it is and thank you to HD for writing it….
Let me please say this first, I humbly asked Lynn to blog for this show and perhaps she was still tipsy from the Stanley Cup high when she agreed. Trust me, participles will dangle, verbs will be out of place, nothing will be in the right tense and the world will still keep on turning. I think I right (or is that write?) pretty well but you guys are TOUGH! Please be kind to a new blogger.
I write it the way I speak it! And yes, I have been known to go off a time a two. Such is life.
Okay….on to the lights, camera, action…We begin back at the fashion show-and I do use that word lightly. This is certainly not Project Runway – New York Fashion Week more like GTL Fashion-palooza-but Kim (some initial that I can’t remember because no one really cares) wants to highlight some of her “fashions” in her upcoming store. You all know the story, fashions, Danielle being paranoid, stares across the room, etc, etc…, we end with Teresa in the hallway confronting Danielle about just walking by her and not saying hello. (I still believe Teresa instigated this episode but okay.)
Pick up this show….Danielle asks, “what is this ghetto thing you are doing?” STOP THE PRESSES! Honey, and yes I did say honey, any time someone is going off does not mean it is “ghetto”. Moving on… Of course Teresa is offended because she jumps up and starts talking about her FIVE MILLION DOLLAR HOUSE. Which of course, Danielle politely lets slip, is in FORECLOSURE! MY GOODNESS, if that didn’t set Teresa off. “It’s not in foreclosure!” Da..Da…Da…Daaaaaaaaaaa…SUPERGIRL, Jacqueline in her Superwoman stance proceeds to step in at this point and declare, “Teresa’s house is NOT in foreclosure.” Jacqueline, I have to give you the “sit the fuck down card” we ALL saw the court papers just as Danielle did. Your friend is 11 million dollars in debt and that is why she got SO offended and tried to deflect the attention from what Danielle said and tried to act like a bad ass. Pay your bills honey and then you can actually wear a chinchilla jacket and not worry about the IRS coming to swoop it off your back.
For some reason there is running, Danielle’s heel breaks, and she limps/runs/is carried out of the establishment. She cowers in the corner and starts crying with Kim G in a prostitution whore outfit beside her. Danielle proceeds to say “she can’t move, she can’t move.” Honey your heel is broke, not your leg. Limp your ass to the car and keep it moving. But that would be too much like right, huh? Then Ashley comes into the picture and PULLS Danielle’s hair for what appears to me to be NO REASON! As a former weave wearer, I must say, having your weave pulled hurts like no one’s business. Although it may seem like a little hair tug, IT HURTS! There is more pressure on your scalp because your hair underneath the weave is corn-rowed into tight braids to your scalp and then sewn into your hair. So it is basically like having your hair ripped out of your scalp. AND IT HURTS! So although Danielle has been known to over exaggerate, it DOES hurt and hurt badly especially being pulled from the back, which jerks your neck. Danielle probably was in pain…pain enough to call the police…HELL NO! Pain enough to take her butt home…yes! But going home? Would that be Danielle? Of course not. It is Hawaii 5-0 time!
Danielle proceeds to call Crockett and Tubbs with Kim G (why is she a part of the show again?) while Jacqueline declares, she is now having stomach issues once everything is going on. Ummmmmmmmmm HELLO! Perhaps you should have had stomach issues a longgggggggggg time ago like when you were pregnant with Ashley and should have been more of a mom instead of a friend! Hello! Jacqueline finally MANS UP and tells Ashley to go home to which of course her wonderful daughter says, “you picked Danielle over me.” My…my…how I wish Ashley was my daughter. All I need is ONE NIGHT! I promise you, ONE NIGHT! All that attitude would be cleared up REAL QUICK!
Of course, Kim (whatever initial) gets in the car with Danielle, to remind her to CALM DOWN! Teresa then proceeds to stand outside the car and stalk Danielle. Ummmmmmmmm, if Danielle is not on your mind, here is a thought, GO HOME and try to cook some more books or something! She is in the car, JUST LEAVE IT ALONE! Jacqueline proceeds to attempt to get Teresa to leave and Teresa asks, “are you scared?” Sigh….I promise I am so tired of Teresa trying to act so hard core. Honey, you could not last a minute in my neck of the woods. We don’t talk much. We handle business!
Kim (whatever initial) gets out the car and Danielle in her weave pulling painful stupor says, “don’t let Kim hit anyone” Ummmmmmmmmmm honey…TRUST ME, Kim is NOT going to hit anyone! TRUST ME! I will bet the farm on it! Kim (whatever initial) then says, after she is out of the car of course, “I want to get my bag and my phone”. The REAL reason she got out of the car! Let me toss this in, Kim (whatever initial) is a TOTAL MANIPULATIVE INSTIGATOR! I cannot stand her. I see right through her!
She goes back to the table to let Teresa know, she is not taking sides…okay….
Teresa tried to talk to Ashley after the altercation but what is the point. She just acted like a raving lunatic. The blind leading the blind! The other Kim with the store says, “you were just trying to protect your mom,” to Ashley and I am thinking, huh?! What fashion show has she been attending? Next!
Sirens now…okay here come the police…nothing dramatic…hardly impressed…however…the Oscar goes to…Danielle Staub. Quivering voice, tears, shaking, “I just wanna go home” speech. Of course when the police ask, “are you PHYSICALLY hurt?” She replies, “I am emotionally hurt.” Okay, Danielle. Really? All these cops because your emotions are hurt? Okay.
Of course, she wants people arrested, wants peace in the Middle East, wants no more taxes, wants to end world hunger….it’s a reality show honey. No one is going to jail. Trust me.
When they go talk to Ashley what is soooooooooooo funny to me is, she says, “I grabbed her extensions, not her hair so technically I didn’t even grab her hair.” TOO FUNNY! Honey, it all hurts the same once it is sewn in. You don’t get a pass because you snatched out fake hair. LOL!
Of course the police go to talk to Teresa and she acts like Gomer Pyle. What fight? Danielle who? What fashion show? I’m confused. You want my I.D.? No I don’t have an I.D. I am thinking, YOU STARTED THIS WHOLE THING! Also, HONEY, you still have a, “I just had a baby stomach” which is NOT to talk about your weight but IS to talk about why are you fighting and you STILL have baby weight? You JUST had a baby! Chill-lax! Enhance your calm!
Okay…the rest of the show…boring. Teresa and Jacqueline relay the story to Caroline who was VERY correct. Danielle got EXACTY what she wanted! EXACTLY! They fed right into it like fools!
Albie-Needs to study for REAL!
Ashley-In order to be politically correct on Lynn’s blog I will not say what she needs but trust me I could handle here in one sitting!
Blogging is hard. I think I covered a lot and shoot maybe some of it is out of sequence. Hell some of may not have happened. I had a few glasses of wine. LOL! At any rate, this show is still horrible and this one episode did nothing to pull it out of the depths of bovine spillage. We already know what happens which is NOTHING so who cares. Lynn, I pass the blogging back on to you and those that hold the throne! Thanks for letting me give my two cents. This blog and a dollar MIGHT get ya a cup of coffee although I doubt it! HA!