I Hate Jill Zarin Millionaire Matchmaker Guest Blog Nov 3, 2010
I refuse to watch this woman (Patti Stanger) but Quincy IL has taken one for the team and watched this horrible woman screeching for an hour. We appreciate it! Thank you to Quincy IL for this great blog!
Jason and the Argonauts/ Two Davids, no Goliath
Patti and NYC Nutcases
401 Rules for Dating in NYC
(Patti discussing dating in NYC is a room full of young women.)
Driven men run Wall Street.
Go to the bars on Wall Street around 4:30 PM..
Use the 5 second flirt, smile and hold gaze for 5 seconds.
The staff is in Patti’s office watching DVDs of potential clients.
Jason is Jewish, 30, and is totally into his friends/drinking buddies. Jason is from Brooklyn. He works out on a bridge without his shirt. He claims that he owns a Connecticut country house and a home in Maine. He describes his dream woman as a smart Kim Kardashian with “junk in the trunk.” Patti thinks Jason thinks he is hot because he made a few pennies. Jason is the VP of a family owned company. ( I think the family has made the money and provided a job for their son with a drinking problem.)
David is 39, gay, emaciated and addicted to Botox. He is seen having injections and stating that he doesn’t want any movement. He is OCD, minimalist in his decor, judgmental, sarcastic and wants his equal. Patti explains that gays trade up and she will only be able to find a 7 out of 10 for David. David has two NYC apartments: one uptown, one downtown.
We have our driver, Deshawn moment where Patti shares her wisdom and he smiles. I absolutely love this guy.
Patti meets with Jason where she confirms that he is not ready for a relationship, is only interested in his guy friends, not religious (sure until he decides that he wants to get married,) and that he needs to grow up and become his own man (never going to happen.)
David comes into the office and tries to impress Patti because he lives in the same building as Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman. He hates wrinkles. Patti has a makeup artist put lesions on David’s face, create a uni- brow, and change his hairline. They walk outside to teach the lesson that it hurts to be judged by your appearance.
Patti and her staff look at possible dates for this week’s millionaires. They love every gay guy that they interview. There are muscle men, creative directors, and one very skinny guy with hairy legs in shorts that Patti feels will be great choices for David.
Andrea, the new assistant and target of Patti’s wrath, brings in some young women that Patti rejects as too fat, too thin, ugly makeup, ugly outfit, and just plain ugly.
Patti takes Amy, Kim Kardashian of NYC and Shelly, an Israeli with blond dyed hair who is 5’6” and too thin with a tiny rear.
Patti goes shopping for her own shoes at Jeffries.
Surprisingly, both Jason and David are able to meet and greet, then pick dates. Jason, of course, drinks his way through the event, but he seems sincere in his interviews of the young ladies. He dismissed the girl from Israel when she states that Israelis are more serious and mature because he doesn’t want to be serious or mature. He likes the “junk in the trunk” of Amy and her smile so she gets to be the date.
David likes several of the gay men, but decides to date Kristos because he wants to step outside of his box. Kristos is emaciated, gay, wears shorts just like David, and is from Long Island where David is from Connecticut adjacent to Long Island. This is a tiny box.
Jason takes Amy to eat sushi. He orders drinks and keeps them coming. My count is 3 beers, two Saki bombers, and one spilled drink with a lime. Patti has a two drink minimum on her dating rules. Amy doesn’t like to drink, but she smiles and is a good sport. After dinner, Jason takes Amy to a roof top bar to meet with 4 drunken buddies. They all look alike. They are loud. When Amy tries to make a statement, one of the buddies tells her to shut up and drink. I count 4 tequila shots on the roof top. I’m sure there were more. Amy is kind, but miserable for the entire evening. The worst moment for Amy was a forced kiss from Jason while his friends yelled, “Kiss, kiss, kiss.”
David goes to a nice restaurant with Kristos and we learn that Kristos only eats salmon as he does not want to ingest suffering. David eats meat and likes to ingest suffering. They order martinis, but David sends his back asking for clear vodka. After dinner, they take dessert in a box to Central Park and have nothing to talk about. They look around, but neither has an idea to share. They take a tiny bite of dessert as they both have to keep their Twiggy figures. David announces that he hates people. They thank each other and the date is over. They both look bored to death because they both are boring.
Patti talks to Amy and finds out about the guys and drinking. She confronts Jason who quits the club as she is firing him. They call each other names as he tries to escape through a hallway as Patti and the camera crew chases him.
Patti gives David a mantra, “I love people.” That should help him find sunshine and happiness.
More millionaires next week. More problems finding attractive NYC females. More of Patti in shorts. Hopefully, more time with DeShawn, the driver.
Lynn: Thanks again Quincy! Carly and I will be recording another half hour of Reality Buzz tonight so that will be available to listen to very soon. My Watch What Happens Live blog is available now at http://www.lynnnchicago.blogspot.com
Until Next Time…