I Hate Jill Zarin Guest Blogs – Millionaire Matchmaker / The Fashion Show
We’re in for a real treat today! Quincy had provided us with not one, but TWO blogs about last night’s Bravo offerings. Thank you to Quincy for once again suffering through Patti Stanger’s bad behavior, something that I cannot stomach but I love reading the re-caps. If my math is correct, she is now Zero for Eight in her matchmaking efforts! Also expertly recapped today is The Fashion Show premier.
Now for the good stuff…Thank you Quincy! You’re the best!
The Fashion Show
This week we were introduced to the revamped Fashion Show. Twelve designers walk into a NYC building were they are asked to choose a box with a number. The designers are assigned a model based on the box that they have chosen. No one has been told what they are going to be a part of in the next few weeks, but they all look forward to the opportunity. There are designers with their own fashion lines, designers who work in the business producing for stores, and designers who just stepped out of the classroom.
The Bravo formula for design competition is in place. The designers live in housing, work in studios, and create in a time frame. There will be individual challenges and team efforts. The teams will produce a fashion show which will be judged each week. The winner of the series will receive 125,000 dollars and a fashion spread in “Harper’s Bizarre.” There will be a designer “out of fashion” each week.
The designers get a quick design meeting with their models and the clothes that they submitted in order to get into the show. This is followed immediately by a cat walk. The pace is incredibly fast. There is a great deal of tension. We see that some of the designers have experience in high fashion. One designer creates unisex clothing which surprises other contestants. Some designers are very experimental, while others are down to Earth and ready for Nordstrom’s racks. My personal favorite was the designer who likes to make clothes from the perspective of a person who has lived in outer space and returns to make a clothing line from the 1980’s.
The Iman Challenge
Before the designers and the audience can catch our breath, the challenge to design a clothing line that Imam would wear is announced. The teams have formed and they are in their studios with all of the equipment and materials that are needed. We get to see how clothes go from paper to the walk way in this show. They design, cut patterns, cut cloth, fit, create new looks using time tested techniques, use sewing machines and hand sew. Iman reminds us that no design is an island. We are told that the design should be for Iman’s bubbly personality. These are attempts at
One team work well, the other doesn’t. The Green team immediately comes up with a concept based on Iman’s life from Somalia to the present day. They will use white as their color which has been done in Fashion shows so it will be difficult to be fresh. Their concept is to show progression. Each designer comes up with their own design, but the coordinate and help each other. They want to invent, but consider where Iman could use the clothes.
The other team falls apart. The Blue team members bicker and want to go in their own directions. They don’t want a leader. Their concept is to use color because of Iman’s dark skin. It seems that they think they are in the initial show and they want to show off thing they have done before coming to this contest.
The Green team is on the island of Utopia. The Blue Team is living on Gilligan’s Island. Both newly formed houses of fashion have the skills and potential to greatness, but it seems that the Green team won the numbers in the original lottery. After watching the frenetic work being done in each house, we are thrown into the
preparation for the runway with models requiring fitting, hair, make up and instruction in how to present the clothes during the runway shows.
Blue team goes first. Their models are covered by white sheets which are taken off to show colored clothing. The models are miserable. The clothes are too tight to walk, have ruffles that make their rears look big, and they can’t get along with their designers. You can taste the frustration.
The Green team has a professional approach to the runway and frankly when I saw all of the white clothes with different styles working together, I gasped.
The judges meet with the teams and pick the winner, the Green team. They discuss each piece of the collection and mention the good and the bad. They pick the final piece belonging to Cesar, the leader of the team who helped so many during the work time.
Cesar is experienced with his own line of fashion.
The Blue team contestants are still combative. Calvin, who didn’t want to work with anyone, designed a yellow dress similar to one of his prior contest pieces. He argues with Iman in the tomato/tomatoe/yellow comments that were on the promos all week. Iman doesn’t like Calvin and America doesn’t like him either. Francine, the Nordstrom’s designer is giving the “out of fashion” label and sent packing. She blames others and is ticked off as she leaves. Francine’s crime was she designed clothing for a mall. I aspire to buy at Nordstrom’s because the clothes are so much better than our Farm Store and Wal-Mart. I am feeling “out of fashion” with Francine.
Millionaire Matchmaker –
Patti’s Geisha House of Cards
Patti Stanger shows us her fantastic NYC Apartment door and couch. She welcomes her parents and very quiet sister to her home. She has not seen them in ages. They were in town last night going to dinner at restaurants with celebrities. Patti was embarrassed that her mother said that she had taught Patti all of her skills except the low class comments that Patti makes on her show like “the penis does the picking. Patti’s step dad loves that she is outspoken.
The Millionaire Search
Patti reviews the DVDs with her two person staff. Our female millionaire, Beth, is 40ish and is a professional poker player. She has three children, an Aston Martin, two houses (Philadelphia and New York,) a large shoe collection, and wants to present herself as a charitable person (she holds a large trophy from a Vegas casino that has charity written on the bottom.) Beth has been divorced for 6 months, but constantly fails in relationships because, according to Patti, Beth wants to be their mommy. Patti claims that Beth pays for the dates. Beth doesn’t look her age and is attractive.
The male millionaire, Sean, has 1.5 million net worth, lives in a Manhattan apartment in a building called Union Square and wears two earrings which seems to upset Patti. Sean’s goal is to replace his Thai masseuse with a wife. He states that the women he meets are either 2 dollar hoes or 20 dollar hoes and he prefers the 2 dollar hoes. Sean is short and bald so Patti asks him how long his Sean is and asks him to measure it and report back. Sean likes Asian and Island women who are size 0 or less. He asks Patti to find a petite sexy momma that earns her own income, so he can fall in love. Patti states that Sean is a misogynist. Because Sean has turned to the Dark Side, Patti needs a Priest to perform an Exorcism.
Advice from the Driver
Shawn, our fantastic driver listens to Patti. He has known misogynists in his life so he tells Patti to go full speed ahead in knocking Sean’s block off. Patti takes Sean to a therapist who is incredulous and furrows her unbotoxed forehead for the entire session.
His advice is for Sean to tell the women in the mixer something that is so personal that he is embarrassed in order to show vulnerability to the women.
Potential Dates/Cattle Call
Patti’s mom and step dad attend the cattle call. Mom thinks women in their early 20s are too young for a 41 year old male misogynist. Patti shares with her mom and the planet that at 23, Patti had a six month relationship with Randy Quaid that was the best oral sex of her life. Thank you Patti for sharing.
The women are beautiful, Asian, many are educated with good jobs. Patti is angry. Andrea brings in women at the last moment because this is when the women arrive. She doesn’t have completed applications with photos because the women just arrived so Patti screams at the female Gothic assistant who in turn screams at the beautiful Andrea because Patti has already done her quotient of screaming at Andrea this week.
The female specimens: short, thin, great body, 5’6” and 116 lbs, born in Hong Kong, speaks Mandarin, and great jobs. One 21 year
old wants to work part time. Patti throws her out because she does not want any sugar girls in her business that offers women to millionaire men looking for eye candy.
The male specimens: insurance representatives, former baseball player for the Cincinnati Reds, friend of former baseball player for the Cincinnati Reds, mergers and acquisitions, shoe salesman and man who has a collection of male shoes. Well, Beth did like her shoe collection as much as she liked working for charities.
Tiny mixer as the number of Asian women willing to be subservient in NYC is small. Patti must also be having a hard time finding mature men in NYC for 40 ish attractive mothers of 3.
This week’s mixer challenge: make a drink representing you personality. No one knows what drink to make, but Allison uses too much Tabasco and the building needed to be fumigated. No one was poisoned so the mixer continued. Mixing drink challenge was a bust.
Beth takes Ray the smooth marketing expert is an ill-fitting wrinkled suit. Sean picks Allison because he thinks she is most bimbolike. Patti is very happy with their choices.
She announces that Ray and Sean will plan the dates.
Beth plans the date with Sean. To make the evening in Atlantic City more fun for Beth she brings her gay personal assistant, make-up artist, body guard, and the person her children would like her to marry on all of the date except the dinner. At the dinner, Beth finds that she has no chemistry with a man that she ignored all evening.
Sean tells Allison that he thought she was the best bimbo at the Mixer. She is upset and cannot let that go for the entire evening. She is brilliant. She speaks Italian. She is a television producer. She is way too good for Sean.
The Follow up
Patti is back in her office in a bumble bee ensemble with a large yellow abdomen and black jacket.
Sean seems to have liked Allison and is willing to give up being a misogynist for Patti’s method of finding love. He never goes out with Allison again. Hopefully, she made that decision.
Beth is told that she mamma the men. She never dates Ray again. Beth is looking for her “Ace of Spades” with her gay friend.
So Patty is 0 and 0 again this week. I see a pattern emerging.
Lynn: Thanks again Quincy for the great blogs! Please remember to check out my “other” blogs at:
A new blog will be posted there later this morning that will explain some of the craziness of yesterday’s blog comments.
EDIT: New blog posted:
Until Next Time….