I Hate Jill Zarin Housewives and Their Assistants Guest Blog

 

 

I Hate Jill Zarin  Guest Blog – Housewives and Their Assistants

By:  Quincy IL

The Empress’s New Clothes

We have heard rumors that Real housewives (Jill Zarin) travel with hair stylists and makeup people in the past, but when we were plopped down in the Hills of Beverly in with palaces that sport Buckingham gates, we were introduced to lifestyles fit for the Aristocracy.  Camille, the wife of the greatest actor in the Universe, Kelsey Grammer, holds court in her palace by the sea/Malibu in a court yard filled with waterscapes and beautiful flowering plants.  A house manager/cook, an assistant who also act as cooks, 4 full time nannies, and a gardener (who picks beautiful arrangements of limes and oranges placing them on the counter in attractive arrangements hours before the entire household is moved to Hawaii because Camille likes the look of fruit on the counter in arrangements,) and Dede, best friend/hair dresser/confident/life style coach all serve Camille’s whims as royal courts and ladies in waiting once served the Queens of Europe. We have not met the many housekeepers who swarm the halls to polish the marbles floors (eat your heart out Teresa Giudice,) because in all great tales of queens, we never meet the scullery maids (unless the scullery maid is the object of affection of the King.)

Like the courts in Europe, the courtiers and ladies in waiting are there to serve, to listen and to partake in the benefits of living in royal courts.  If you are a member of the Privy Chamber, you are given homes to live in when your husband goes bankrupt.  You are given a car to drive when you have no transportation.  You are taken on trips to mansions in Hawaii and allowed to share the Queen’s hot tub which is heated (the Kings was not turned on so not to waste energy.)  The only stipulation is that you nod and smile as the Queen explains your financial failures on international television and you must thank her royal highness for your existence every day of your life.

Dede, the Queen’s favorite is with Camille day and night.  She serves Queen Camille as a hairdresser and holds the reflecting glass so that the Queen can admire her own beauty, talent, and generosity to her friends.  When the Queen claims to have  a Jesus Complex,  Dede nods in accordance to the wishes of the Queen.

When the Queen goes to war after long hours of studying “The Art of War,” Dede is there to support and encourage the Queen in her own delusions.  Dede knows the truth of conversations in Vegas that she did not hear.  She reminds the Queen of the Queen’s owns word reinforcing the sense that her royal highness has been betrayed.

Dede, as spokesperson explains why Camille is misunderstood by her subjects explaining that “ever since I have known Camille, girls have been jealous of her.”  When describing the Queen’s role in the dispute, she tells us that “Camille was a good girl.”  She tells us that Kyle’s husband is the ex-realtor.  “I don’t think you will be calling him to sell any houses in the future.”  She in her role as chief consoler/lifestyle coach when discussing the NYC restaurant comments of Kyle as “pathetic.”  When Queen Camille decides to end the daily tweets to her loyal subjects, Dede is there to tweet back in full agreement that the Queen has been misunderstood by the peasant mobs.

Others have served as BFFs and employee of the reality queens before.  Brad Boles was the court jester/gay husband/makeup artist/ decorator/ of Jill Zarin for two seasons.  In the third season, Brad was banished from court and desperately sought the favor of Queen Jill.  When asked repeatedly about her gay husband, Brad, the Queen explained that he was traveling.  Brad’s crime was he was critical of the Queen on camera.  He dismissed her concerns about items in her home. He told us how Jill always complains. He let us know that the Queen has no taste in decorating and in fashion.  He fell short of mid century modern and when another uttered the words, “Liberace, Versace.” Brad took the blows.  It didn’t help when Brad would get loaded at parties and accost attractive gigolos like Max.  Banishment is a harsh punishment.  Brad was delighted to be invited to the renewal ceremony of Ramona.  His face was on scene for a fraction of a second.  His pleas to return to the court have fallen on death ears.

Dwight of Atlanta was the court jester in Nene’s kingdom for two seasons.  He delighted the Queen of Atlanta with races wearing high heels and unusual fashions which were fit for a queen.  Dwight made the queen laugh, sided with her in her battles, and helped her with her makeup and hair.  Dwight’s exile was made permanent at a high heel shoe party when Nene backed him into a corner and later told us that he could never be trusted because he had made a loan to Gregg.  Dwight is now in the court of Queen Phaedra. He serves her with dancing and trips to the horse races wearing colorful costumes and hats for her pleasure. Of course, Queen Nene is always prepared for battle so this saga has not ended.

Kim Zolciak’s, assistant Sweetie, is more of a royal lapdog than an assistant.  Kim tells Sweetie to hurry up, to shut up, and to pour the wine into the coffee cup.  As long as Sweetie doesn’t gasp and invoke the good book when Kim makes outrageous statements, she should remain in the Zolciak realm for a long time.

The most important attribute of a good servant to reality royalty is the ability to always agree with the thoughts of the queen and never tell her that her royal garb is invisible.  If she asks if she is exposing too much breast, smile and look down at the table.  It’s called survival.

Thank you Quincy, as always, another fantastic blog!  Lynn~

Until Next Time….

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About LynnNChicago

Reality TV Blogger
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180 Responses to I Hate Jill Zarin Housewives and Their Assistants Guest Blog

  1. realminkey says:

    Great analysis, Quincy.

    Reality Tea is blogging about the NY Post’s report on Kelsey’s secret 6.5M love nest. The best part is, it’s large enough to accomodate the children. Camille should look on the bright side… She won’t have to get stressed about all the work it would take to oversee someone else’s management of another property.

  2. sophie says:

    Maybe now Camille can have that 3,500 sf apt all to herself. Only now…empty, it might seem a little bigger and more livable.

  3. TrueLifeDiva says:

    Today I will give blood at the BloodMobile parked in a local Walmart parking lot. If you are eligible to be a donor, please donate. Supplies get extremely low this time of year. Tomorrow I will hit the gym in an effort to offset all the foolishness I have committed in the name of Thanksgiving. My goal is simple… Not gain any weight this holiday season. Cross your fingers and wish me luck 😉

  4. WindyCityWondering says:

    Thanks Quincy – without assistants the various kingdoms may never meet and the queens could never continue down the insane fantasy paths they have chosen.

  5. LynnNChicago says:

    Way off topic but funny, Go to: http://maps.google.com/

    Get directions from Honolulu Hawaii to Seattle Washington (Read step #12) haha

  6. Starlite says:

    Damn, that was a painfully long read….um, I mean good job!

  7. Zipit Zarin says:

    Great blog Quincy! And we thought we didn’t have royalty in this country. 😀

  8. Duchess of Dryer Lint says:

    Perhaps these minions of the Royal Court of the soon to be deposed Queen Camille should ponder the fate of Lady Rochford? Blindly supporting the vanity of a silly and stupid woman can lead you to literally lose your head!

  9. cusi77 says:

    Wow Quincy! Very well put everything we have been watching, with a great sense of humor! Thanks! One of my favorite comments was for dummy TG…

  10. Kellita says:

    Great blog, Quincy!

    I don’t have 10 houses to manage, but I wouldn’t mind a personal assistant, sometimes, to do some of the things that I hate to do. Or a driver. I’d love someone to drive me around and I could nap in the car. I want Kim G’s Harry for Christmas!

    But honestly, there’s real satisfaction and pride in doing most things myself, especially taking care of my kids. Camille can keep her 4 nannies. I love raising my children.

    • Need a Hobby says:

      I get page not found from that link, but searched NYP and got this:

      Since their debut on Patti Stanger’s “Millionaire Matchmaker,” Albie and Chris Manzo have captured the attention of television executives and single women. Sources close to the brothers say they’ve signed a contract with Bravo and begun filming a spinoff of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.” Albie and Chris recently moved into a bachelor pad in Hoboken, leaving behind their mother, Caroline Manzo. “The boys were looking for some independence,” an insider said. “They’re getting a ton of attention from the ladies and needed their own space.” The two were seen last week with friends at the Chandelier Room at the W Hoboken, where they were treated like royalty. “Girls were literally throwing themselves at Chris and Albie,” a partygoer tells us. “There was a lot of commotion.” A Bravo rep said, “Bravo has not made any announcement.”

      Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/albie_and_chris_manzo_get_their_2LgqqpMqXj2BzwCsnelpcL#ixzz16POhHnQ7

      (Hum…copy & pasting alone resulted in that “read more” tag with url. Guess they do that to ensure a link back to NYP? That’s not the url on the page I’m looking at, but whatever.)

      I can’t even think of a comment on that. Except if it’s true, T is probably not happy that the Manzo boys get a spin off and apparently, as far as we know, she hasn’t.

      • quincyil says:

        From the way some of the girls acted in the Millionaire Matchmaker show with the Manzos, I thought something might be up with Bravo. Why have the Manzo brothers cross over?
        Well, there are a lot of girls in the NJ and NYC area who will really like this.

        • Adgirl says:

          Acch eewww! Who is watching these fools? Every home in NJ & NY must have cable and watching the various NJ shows to justify this treatment by Bravo.

          Can’t we get Bravo to start a new channel for this crap?

          I am highly protective of my version of Bravo which is MTV for middle aged women.

          • quincyil says:

            Andy Cohen is probably behind this. He just doesn’t seem that intelligent to me.

            I read that a number of high mucky mucks at NBC Universal are going to be dumped when Comcast takes over. Bravo and the Syfy family are part of the NBC family. I hope Comcast believes in programming because some of my favorite scifi shows got the boot a few years ago when the Syfy channel was sold. I really hate change.

        • Need a Hobby says:

          I can see Bravo wanting to appeal to a younger demographic. I don’t see them taking on the Jersey Shore or whatever with these two, but Bravo typically does their shows on the cheap so they probably figure it’s worth a shot.

      • WindyCityWondering says:

        Me thinks these “girls” smell money…..poor Caroline – next career fighting off the golddiggers after her boys!

        • quincyil says:

          I think they are upper middle class, but not as rich as the Zarins. I don’t trust the celebrity net worth site, but Caroline seemed to say, “Ouch,” when the suit for Albert cost thousands. I think they are well off, but not stinking rich.

          • my cousin use to be a vendor to the Brownstone.
            She said the Manzo’s (Tommy and Albert) are
            “filthy stinking rich-loaded. much wealthier than
            you could imagine” and that the family lives well
            beneath their means-
            She also said that Tommy and Albert were very
            pleasant to work with, fair-minded and very
            professional. the entire family was very down-to- earth. She truly enjoyed working with them.
            She switched companies last year and they are no longer clients.
            I said “How come you never told me this?”

            “You never asked”

            • Rabble Rouser says:

              Albert actually comes across as a likable man. The only time we have seen Tommy was in the that wedding show- he came across as a dick to Dina but knowing what I know now, I can understand it a bit better. Dina must be insufferable to deal/live with.

          • twoile says:

            I’m not sure but wouldn’t the suit b a business expence?

            • twoile says:

              oops! expense

              • quincyil says:

                I don’t think so. Doctors wear suits and they aren’t a business expense.

                • Rabble Rouser says:

                  My daughters pediatrician wears jeans and cowboy boots- along with Hawaiian style shirt ( I guess the shirt is because we actually live by the beach).

                  But you are right , most other doctors I have seen have at least been in dress slacks and collared shirt.

      • icantstandthetoxicity says:

        I’m am surprised that Patti Stanger tweeted this since Bravo hasn’t made an official announcement yet.

        pattistanger: Congrats to the Manzo boys for getting their own show on @Bravotv! So excited for you guys. @CarolineManzo @AlbieManzo @Chris_Manzoxo

        • icantstandthetoxicity says:

          I meant to say “I am surprised” not “I’m am surprised”. LOL

        • Need a Hobby says:

          FWIW, Rob Shuter says his “Bravo sources” say the Manzo boys don’t have a show. With any luck, Stanky will have pulled a JZ with premature congrats.

          Meanwhile, Caroline’s Twitter allegedly “hacked” again or Caro’s got a computer virus? I don’t know what the deal is. Maybe Lauren can let us know. 😉

          And in other news, Lauren Manzo set fire to Jac’s kitchen. OK, I guess something combusted in a pot & putting a lid on the pot took care of that. So no harm resulted.

        • quincyil says:

          I think I made a mistake listening to Patti too. She thought that fake Salahi tweeter was real, but it was not.

          Maybe, Patti is twittering with her tweeter.

      • twoile says:

        That is one more Bravo show to avoid unless you can’t live without Caroline;)

      • klmh says:

        I predict that will be a one trick pony.

    • knocknoc says:

      Sorry, made a mistake while copying and pasting. It should read:

      http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/albie_and_chris_manzo_get_their_2LgqqpMqXj2BzwCsnelpcL

      • boston02127 says:

        Blech….the Manzo bro’s. Baldy & Goofy.

        Although this should open a can of worms for Caro Linebacker.
        Sunday dinner at the Manzo’s with all Chris & Albie’s money hungry ho’s.

        hee hee

  11. quincyil says:

    So now I can give more information: half of the American population has royal blood lines.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_descent

    The plantation families of the South were often 3rd, 4tf or 5th sons of aristocratic families. They had to do something with all of those sons who needed funds to live because they weren’t going to inherit the land or titles. John Adams and Thomas Jefferson had royal blood. President Obama has royal blood. The Bush Presidents have royal blood. Black and White Americans have royal blood. The Chinese and Japanese were more restrictive with their royal bloods lines, but many Asians have royal blood too.

    There were African monarchies too.

    No wonder we feel so entitled.

    • OneMoreInBoston says:

      You forgot the Irish and the Scottish. My family on both parents sides has lines that go back to the Kings of dalriada. First written records of their royal lands go back to 590AD.

    • Kansas Girl says:

      Given that the world population has continually increased since forever, we’re all probably related to each other in surprising ways!

      Some years back I found research proving that I’m descended from a Scottish king of about 1150. (Think Mel Gibson yelling “freedom” — THAT Scotland.) That was kind of exciting. And then the researchers announced they’d made a mistake and we are NOT descended from that line, and never mind!

      • OneMoreInBoston says:

        yep- that’s my mom’s line

        • quincyil says:

          I have a friend with the name Butler. They were Scottish kings and were sent to Ireland by Elizabeth I to suppress the Irish. The immigrated to America from Ireland. The whole family is gorgeous. Kinda like Rhett in Gone With the Wind.

          So …you two are cousins?

          • OneMoreInBoston says:

            well if they’re gorgeous- we MUST be related!

            No-“my” kings were dal riata, their lands were Northern Ireland and lower Scotland.

            They switched around to whatever gave them the most political leverage.

            Cromwell killed a lot of them, threw the babies off the cliffs of the ancestral island home, but some hid in the caves, and the king’s sons, the princes came to MA to fight the Indians in the Pequot War FOR the British.

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pequot_War

            • quincyil says:

              I loved reading about that. I have studied the Black Hawk War extensively and tried to get Illinois to teach about the subject to our kids. I think it’s important to know American History.

              My siblings have blond and reddish hair. Many member of my family have Scandiavian looks. The names were Runyard, Chase, and Dowell on the English side. Members of the family researched and found that Dowell was a Viking who invaded Eastern England pushing back the Anglos and Saxons.

              My kids have the blood of Vikings and Ghensis Khan. No wonder they were really aggressive when it came to Scholastic Bowl competitions.

              • Kansas Girl says:

                Some of mine were Norman invaders. But try as I might, I find no common traits. Far too much else mixed in. And it didn’t help me learn French either! I had people who were some of the first settlers of Rhode Island. Some pioneered into Michigan. I find it makes history more alive when I can place ancestors there. It motivates me to know more about them and their lives.

    • Had Enough! says:

      Like Peggy Bartels, a Maryland woman who works as a secretary in the Ghanian Embassy, who suddenly became king of a Ghanian village:

      http://www.npr.org/2010/11/11/130902212/in-ghanaian-village-american-woman-reigns-as-king

      I LOVE this story!

      But we have royalty right here – our very own Duchess!

  12. TLM says:

    Well, thank God Thanksgiving is over! Now it’s just full-speed ahead to Christmas Craziness. The music has already started playing nonstop in stores, which is making me crazy.

    I saw a couple blogs ago that people kept writing “barbarian cream.” I had no idea what they meant, since I hadn’t seen the episode with that. Now that I have, it has cemented my opinion that Phaedra is dumber than a box of rocks. Maybe she can have barbarian cream with her foe-bwah. If you can’t pronounce something, stop talking and letting everyone know how crazy you really are, as Nene would say. Who would hire a lawyer like this?

    Speaking of Phaedra being crazy, why would an educated woman continue to lie about what stage of pregnancy she’s in? Even when the truth came out, she was still trying to say the ob who told her she was at 40 weeks “had a different theory” from her other doctor.

    Going back a couple of episodes, did anyone think it was crazy Adrienne said to her husband, “You’ve heard of Curve, right?” Why, sure, I’m up on all my Australian publications, Adrienne! It was the magazine where she was doing the photo shoot with the male model. It was even stranger because here in the US, Curve is a lesbian magazine. Australian Curve sounds more like our Vanity Fair or Town & Country. Just thought that was funny.

    • quincyil says:

      I did not know any of this. Thanks for the information.

    • Adgirl says:

      Oops, maybe he thought Adrienne was having her picture taken to be seen in a magazine for those mini workout centers at the strip malls “Curves”.

      • quincyil says:

        We don’t have them here, but my brother told me about one in Boulder, Co., so my first thought was this also.

      • twoile says:

        I believe this is what she ment “curves” mag 4 the exercise ctrs.

      • TLM says:

        Nope, it’s “Curve,” without an S. “Curve” as opposed to “Straight.” The mag has been around for about 20 years. Maybe it is the same one Adrienne was photographed for, since Curve was bought in October by Australian publishers. It’s run out of NY and Sydney now, not San Francisco. http://gayrights.change.org/blog/view/icurve_magazinei_gets_new_owners

        I searched the magazine site for Adrienne’s name, but it’s possible her issue hasn’t been published yet.

        • twoile says:

          I’m under the impression that “A” ment the exercise mag only b/c of the context of her comment…..but 4 the life of me I couldn’t repeat it. I’m curious now & will try 2 c the reruns. I’m only recently aware of the alternative mag via an article in a UK newspaper…..so I may be totally off as the info wasn’t in my brain at that time;)

    • American Idiot says:

      Phaedra meant “bavarian cream, right? There are exercise studios around here called “curves”. Never heard of that Australian magazine.

      • quincyil says:

        Yes, “Bavarian.” I think I’d like one.

      • TLM says:

        Yes, Bavarian. It’s a wonder to me how this woman got through law school. The hilarious thing is that she considers herself such a sophisticate. I’m waiting for her to say she needs to “conversate” with someone. I’ve heard a couple of people pull that word out of their ass in all seriousness, and my teeth almost fell out.

    • floridagirl88 says:

      Another observation when the doctor announced the baby was full term: Fakedra lay their in the bed saying she was confused. I guess she was confused trying to figure out how to spin all the information to her mother who was sitting in the room acting all high and mighty, as if her near 40 year old daughter must have been a virgin until she met Apollo.

  13. Adgirl says:

    Ho was everyones Thanksgiving??

    Ours was pretty quiet as planned. We had chinese take out and rigatoni with homemade meatballs. I tried a little bit of everything. My husbnd was really good- he had salad and a tiny portion of beef and broccoli.
    My husband has been dieting and exercising the past month so we haven’t had any exciting food in the house. I’ve been supporting him by walking with him 6 miles everyday and avoiding fatten foods (except I still have my cocktail when I’m reading my book in bed every night damnit!).
    I told my kids to please eat the leftovers right away and get them out of my house!

    • quincyil says:

      This is the best time of year do be careful and exercise.

      I am rereading Jackie Warner’s book and she advices people to have no more than 1500 calories at the weekend free meals. I was shocked, but I guess a restaurant meal with drinks would add up to that number of calories quite easily.

  14. TrueLifeDiva says:

    The Manzo boys getting a spin-off? I’m about done with all these Jersey shows. Jerseylicious, Jersey Shore, RHNJ, the one about the bridal shop, etc. I know these shows exploit stereotypes but I’m starting to believe they really do all act and look that way. Ugh! Can we dilute the trashyness down to 30%, 50% fabulous, and 20% realness?
    P.S.
    I know some of you watch Jersylicious. Who else thinks Frankie looks like the villian from The Incredibles?

    • quincyil says:

      Ever watch the older sci fi movies? After the 80’s, there are a number of futuristic movies that have the reality show/freak show scenes.

      I’m not sure why younger people watch Jersery Shore. I watch the reality shows because I study Humans as a hobby. I also love the clothes and homes of NYC, DC, and BH. The OC and NJ shows are more on my level so I’m not that interested in them although I do study them. I wonder about Atlanta…..

      I don’t see the women as role models. I am not interested in the men. It’s the lifestyles and how they interact with each other that I watch.

      It’s similar to going to a zoo and watching the primates. It sounds awful, but someone has to study Homo sapiens.

      • I think Frankie looks like a grown up Eddie Munster!!
        I hate the Jersey shows. I am sick of them. enough.

        how about a show about a group of kids who rent a house on Lake Michigan? they make too much noise and piss off Oprah.

        • quincyil says:

          I think Oprah sold the condo that was one full floor right on the lake. She had a big house in Indiana, but I don’t know if she has that. I know there’s a house in California. Maybe, Oprah can star on Real Housewives of BH.

          • oh well, it was worth a try! i want some reality from the heartland. no more on east or west coast. and certainly no more in New Jersey.

            • quincyil says:

              We sent our governor to you for a reality show and we sent his wife into a jungle. That’s all we have.

              • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
                Yes, you did! i actually liked the wife. always thought she must really love that man to subject herself to that. and him, well, I thought that ,well,. i don’t know.

                what is your opinion of him and his situation?

                • quincyil says:

                  Our state is in terrible trouble. He contributed, but there are many other guilty politicians. He gave health care to all children, but did not pay clinics or hospitals for it. He has no connection to the real world so he is perfect for reality TV.

                  • “he has no connection to the real world” that makes so much sense. you could see that on the Apprentice. Honestly, i just didn’t think he was smart enuf to pull off everything they said he did.

    • TLM says:

      What was the Manzo boys’ spinoff based on? The one episode with Patti Stanger? I didn’t see how either one of them was fascinating enough to carry their own show.

      The bridal shop show is called Jersey Couture, I believe… I thought the people on there were surprisingly not as annoying as on some of the other shows. But I only watched it once or twice. I guess “annoying” is what captivates more people. 😉

      I’ve often wanted to write about the recent Jersey TV phenomenon. I live in the Philadelphia area and have spent part of every summer in NJ, so the idea that the entire country is so captivated by New Jersey is funny to me. But it’s also a little bothersome that everyone in the country may think everyone in NJ dresses and talks in the way the people on these shows do. I‘d want to say their accent is Brooklyn-esque, but I hear that Brooklyn, NY has become the land of million-dollar condos and homes (think Alex & Simon). Perhaps all the former Brooklyn people moved to north Jersey.

      The south Jersey I know is very low-key. I would say that surf culture has been more of an influence there than Hollywood, and that means less flash and more of a resurgence of grunge culture, but not to the point of torn clothing. I am all for it. Sure, I see the cheesy tee shirts in the boardwalk shops that say “Italian Princess” with a giant red, white and green-striped heart, or mini-shorts that say “Tony’s Girl” in glitter across the ass, but I have yet to see women actually wearing these things here, Thank God. What I saw a ton of this summer were shirts that had a generic “Lifeguard” with a first aid cross on them, which look like real shirts a lifeguard would wear. My only concern with those is that it makes you wonder who to turn to if there’s actually a water emergency.

      Women who wear heavy makeup are the exception and not the rule here; in fact, I ran into a woman last month whose makeup used to resemble Olivia’s every day and now she’s wearing almost no makeup, so I knew something had finally gotten through to her. I see more women here in Ugg boots and flip-flops than I’ve ever seen in giant platform heels. I haven’t seen anyone in leopard or zebra prints.

      I think at least one paragraph needs to be devoted to the subject of nails, which have always been important in New Jersey (And that includes toenails. Walk into any convenience store in the summer here, and no matter what the age or economic strata of the woman, every set of flip-flopped feet will be POLISHED. You‘d think it was required by law). However, in south Jersey/Philadelphia, the acrylic nail industry has all but died, and is mostly relegated to the over-55 set. The more a woman earns, the less likely you are to see her with ANY nail polish, much less acrylics. And the free edges are likely to be cut off. The less she earns, the longer and/or brighter the nails are likely to be. That is the polar opposite of what it used to be here 20 years ago. French manicures here went the way of the dinosaur about 10-12 years ago. (Vicki Gunvalson, I’m talking to you). Short, dark nails, almost always natural, are what has been in for the last several years.

      Maybe it takes having a national spotlight focused on you to see that your look is out of style. Tamara, Jeana, Tammy and Gretchen still had the French Manicure talons until their show aired the first season, and then they started to disappear. I think Vicki may be the lone holdout on that one. Was anyone else shocked that Gretchen’s nails looked so terrible all the time? Her tips were way too wide and had a very unnatural angle, making them look super-cheap. I kept thinking, for the money this girl had, I didn’t understand how she could have such bad manicures. Nail fashion changes all the time, and not just every 20 years. If you like that topic, I recommend the blog All Laquered Up. It really stays on top of trends and new colors coming out. The most recent trend I recall was that of “doll hands,” or nails painted with a nude color to match the skin. Hardly the Jerseylicious look!

      I confess I’m confused by the fact that ridiculously big hair, giant acrylic French manicures, and heavy, almost drag-queen like makeup are not only requested by clients at the Gatsby, but that at least three people who work there have all that going on. And I must again ask, even if the “Glam Fairy” look is to do heavy drag-queen makeup, why is it always blue frosted eye shadow and bubblegum-pink lipstick on EVERY client?? Did everyone see the show where Olivia even put that on a woman who was 50ish? Blue frosted eyeshadow and bubblegum lipstick. I thought it had to be a joke. I couldn’t believe the woman was happy with it; she looked like a clown. Given the Gatsby’s proximity to New York City, not to mention television, the Internet, and magazines out there, you would think it would have caught on that these things aren’t fashionable.

      Onto tanning and mens’ hair. The skin cancer groups need to blanket the beaches in Seaside Heights and tell the Jersey Shore kids that dark tans, whether received in a booth or from the sun, are not only long out of fashion but dangerous. And I still don’t get the helmet-head thing going on with Frankie, or Pauly on Jersey Shore, or the Gotti sons a few years back (did anyone used to watch Growing Up Gotti besides me?). I used to wonder 10 years ago why young guys were all shaving their heads. Now I wonder why they are taking their short hair and shallac-ing it either straight up or straight back on these shows. I just want to wash all the crap out of Frankie’s hair and let it grow. Does anyone else think that if Frankie had a Justin Bieber-esque ‘do, he couldn’t help but be in a better mood, or manage to smile maybe once a week?

      Sometimes a heavy, dramatic makeup can work. Amy Nicoletti of LA Ink came from south Jersey has heavy makeup and hair, but she’s a tattoo artist, and so somehow, that suits her. Plus, anyone who goes to her isn‘t going to have her do their hair or makeup. (She also is a great example of a south Philly accent, which no actor I’ve seen can seem to imitate. It irritates me that shows like Cold Case, which are set here, don’t employ actors from here. They seem to think a New York accent or north Jersey accent is the same as a Philly accent, but it just isn’t.)

      Given that Gayle and Christie both look good and not overdone, and given that they spent over $1 million renovating their salon – which I think also looks very upscale – I just don’t get why they would bring in Alexa, Tracy, Olivia and Gigi, other than for this show. There is just a taste level that is missing there, and it’s turning off clients who have a lot of money to spend. It’s also out of step with their own website, if you look at it. The website has no photos that look like that crazy Gatsby tv commercial they supposedly did. I can’t speak for others, but I would never go to a stylist whose own look and taste I don’t admire. That isn’t to say I want to look just like them, but I need to feel that they understand what’s appropriate and what’s current, and these girls just don’t. I want to think this all was cooked up for the show, but why would you tarnish the image of a salon you spent so much money to give an upscale image to? I can only guess that that is really their clientele. But if that’s the case, why not just paint the walls of the Gatsby hot pink, put in a couple of leopard-print couches in the waiting area, and be done with it?

      All that being said, I love those crazy kids.

      • well said, TLM. how long did it take you to type that?!
        I completely agree with you on the topic of nails-you are dead on.
        I too, would marvel at the OC ladies nails, esp. Gretchen and Vickie. NObody w/ any sense or looking for credibility would wear talons like that in this day and age. Watch any celebrity interview and you’d be hard pressed to find any with the “talon” look.

        todays nails are shorter and clean cut. But i have noticed a trend amongst some of the much younger celebs that are going long and oval-like the 50’s. just saw it yesterday but for the life of me i can’t remember who.

        I think Oprah has the most beautiful hands. they look like they belong to a 20 year old.
        anyway, I digress. great post. very interesting to this “jersey girl” thank you!!

        • TLM says:

          TY! I guess it did turn into a mini-blog, didn’t it. 😉 I’ve always thought nails were a fun topic. It’s amazing that no matter how bad the economy gets, women will always buy nail polish, won’t they.

          I’m watching Kendra now, only because they’re living at 2 Liberty Place (you gotta love how Kendra keeps calling it “THE 2 Liberty”) and it’s funny to see how they struggle to make Philadelphia visually interesting. There’s the Art Museum and then there’s… not much. Surprisingly, no shots of Love Park, but they do seem to keep showing I-95/Columbus Blvd and 76, just to show the movement of traffic. It’s a snorefest, and now what are they doing but showing them leaving Phila to go to NYC for Fashion Week? Funny.

          • too funny, i saw that episode yesterday(and i never watch Kendra, although I loved the “Girls
            Next Door”!
            Have you ever seen “Parking Wars?”
            i think that’s the name, anyway it’s on A&E and it follows parking ticket agents? sometimes that can be hysterical. I get a ticket every time i go into Phili(we go to the fabric district because Phili has the best fabric district, ever!
            talk about a segue-way(sp?) when everyone was talking about JZ new bedding line , I was thinking about how we go into Phili for fabric (SO reasonable, top of the line) and get our bedrooms CUSTOM done for about 1500.00.
            I talking custom comforter, 6-8 big decorator pillows, floor to ceiling window treatments for 3 windows. bed skirt. the works. But, every time you go there, you get a ticket.
            again, i digress. my point is that this show does not show Phili in a very nice light. But it is a beautiful city, and yes ,it does come across as being sorta boring.

  15. quincyil says:

    Does anyone remember Jill Zarin’s housekeeper from season one? I googled trying to find out what happened to her. In the beginning of the second season, we see Jill and Bethenny in Jill’s kitchen and the housekeeper had just quit. If you look at early blogs, you will see that the public just loved that housekeeper. She made some remarks about the relationship of Alli and Bobby in interview sessions. Bravo featured that uncomfortable relationship with snippets of the family on the private plane to the detox camp with Jill pushing Bobby to help Ali buy school supplies and Bobby telling us that he would have someone go with Ali. I think this is an example of an assisstant of Jill Zarin being sent to the dungeon. I think Jill admonished the housekeeper and told her to be careful with what she says to the cameramen. The online official statements were the husband of the housekeeper didn’t want her to work any longer. I think that was true and he didn’t want her working for Jill Zarin.

    And another assistant steps over the line and hits the dust.

    • TLM says:

      I didn’t recall that woman as being a housekeeper. I thought it was a friend of Jill’s or a relative who was telling Ally Bobby was good to them and basically to suck it up and be nice to Bobby even if she didn’t feel close to him. Don’t recally anything about a housekeeper except for Rosie, the one who worked for Luann

  16. Kansas Girl says:

    Quincy, that was great! Yesterday at the T dinner, my sister-in-laws 2 nieces, both hairdressers or make-up people (I’ve never really gotten it straight and this year they came with different names we were supposed to call them by) said they’d been to Vegas recently. A client was going and one of them jokingly said “take me with you”. And they did. They paid for airfare, hotel, put them in a suite connected to their, fed them and gave them money to gamble. The girls’ job was to do the Queen’s hair and makeup before they went out in the evening. In the morning they all sat by the pool (it seems they did whatever the King and Queen did), then shopped all afternoon. The girls got them ready to go out, and they all went out in the evening together. We pretty much just stared at them while they told this story. Finally someone said “sounds fun” and they said really it wasn’t. They said 6 days was far too long and they don’t know if they’d do it again. We stared some more.

    • quincyil says:

      Interesting. My daughter babysat for a wealthy family of six small children years ago. They would go to the special floor in the Bellagio with the private pool for celebrities. Meg Ryan was there.

      I have friends that go first class all the time. We go coach. I’d be in the back of the plane with Teresa’s kids and the old folks. rotfl

      I have save so much money doing my own hair and makeup that I think I should not cook tonight. rotfl…

  17. klmh says:

    Another fantastic blog indeed. Hit the nails on their heads…

  18. Need a Hobby says:

    Jillzilla’s friend Bonnie Fuller’s site shills for the new bedding line:
    http://www.hollywoodlife.com/2010/11/26/jill-zarin-bedding-line-shop-bed-bath-beyond/

    • quincyil says:

      Jill knows everyone…

    • TLM says:

      Just saw the photo of the linens. Awful. Tufted velvet headboards take me back to 1972. And I just don’t like the colors or styles. The quality looks terrible to me.

      The quote from the article was, “If Zarin Fabrics custom made a similar set, it would be priced around $3,000, but with the help of Bed Bath & Beyond, they start at just $179.99! Each set includes a comforter, bed skirt, and two shams.”

      $3000 does sound inflated, even for a custom set. I could see it maybe if you ordered fabric that cost hundreds per yard, which this certainly does not. I think Jill would have done better to do a quality home furnishings line that did NOT use her name, maybe working with Bloomingdale’s, which is associated with New York. Maybe she tried that route and was turned down.

  19. quincyil says:

    Bankruptcies

    Sonja… Chapter 11

    Salahis… Chapter 7

    Teresa Chapter 7

    Fresh start…. we’ll see

  20. quincyil says:

    So that’s a gigantic difference…. Sonja is filing 11 for reorganization of debt and she plans on paying the debt off over time. The other two Teresa and Michael want to keep assest and dump the debt. Sonja owes more.

    I am worried that the Salahis and Giudice will turn around and run off more debt leaving more providers in the hole. At the reunion, Salahi said that he has already started new corporations.

    I feel a lot better about Sonja now. This news should get out there because a lot of comments on news items don’t reflect her willingness to pay off the debts.

    I think this quote is from Reality Tea…

    “My current monthly income including support is about $26,000 per month,” Sonja stated in her filing. “And I expect this income to improve as new opportunities materialize.”

    “There are some questions about the difference between Sonja’s bankruptcy (Chapter 11) and Teresa Giudice’s bankruptcy (Chapter 7). Unlike Chapter 7, Chapter 11 bankruptcy doesn’t get rid of one’s debts. It is simply to restructure and change the terms of the debt and make plans to pay it back continuously through future earnings. So in actuality, there is a major difference between what Teresa did and what Sonja is trying to do.”

    • cusi77 says:

      I think Sonja is a decent human being doing what is the right thing to do, unlike TG and the salamis…

  21. Need a Hobby says:

    NeNe, Kim & Sheree will be on SyFy’s Ghosthunters show, Wed Dec 1. Preview clip here: http://video.syfy.com/shows/ghosthunters#////shows/ghosthunters/promos_trailers_3/taps-meets-the-real-housewives-of-atlanta–sneak-peek-2–ghost-hunters/v1261268

    Whooo, scary. Hope it’s entertaining. Will Sheree try to “shift” Kim’s wig and blame it on a ghostie? Will Kim take ciggy breaks with travel mugs full of wine? Will NeNe…well, just be NeNe? They’re looking fairly serious in this clip.

  22. Wall St Lady says:

    Personally I wouldn’t want a black bed.
    $3000, my foot ; what normal person would spend $3000 for a comforter, 2 shams & a bed skirt.
    The $200 or so price Jill quotes doesn’t include the 6 pillows shown or the sheets.
    I am afraid this bedding may be available in the 70% off bin by summer.

    • twoile says:

      Or at the XMas Tree shops (BB&B) owns them as well & I often find items from bbb at the Tree Shop.

      • boston02127 says:

        @twoile–I luv the XMass tree shop.

        • twoile says:

          I loved them even more when they were privately owned ….could find some great treasures…now everthing is ordered vs “overruns/salvage(good kind) not Bldg 19 style. Still can find some gr8 stuff from bbb.
          Hope all is feeling a bit less painfull 4 you/Mom. Take Care.

    • quincyil says:

      I don’t think people would pay $3000 around here, but maybe in big cities. We have a BBB, but I didn’t go to see if her bedding is here.

  23. Amber...Real Wife says:

    Hello All! I made it back in one exhausted piece. lol I’ve been sleeping and taking calls most of the day, boy does that turkey cooking and eating take it out of you. I hosted a total of 24, including my 12yr old son, RealHusband, and myself. Everyone ate a few times, different combinations, and EVERYONE took food home. They were so gracious that they took all the disposables and cleaned everything except the ham and turkey roasters. 🙂
    Although the company was wonderfully dysfunctional, as there was drama, gossip and laughter, I’m glad it’s just us again, a trio of nuts. 🙂

    Speaking of nuts, (what a segway) BRAVO must be NUTS if they are giving those Manzo duds a show of their own. How could these two boring dolts carry a show? I know Carolinebacker will be a constant fixture, holding court from their kitchen counters, as they play the HAM game and make awkward attempts at dating. Who wants to see that? These kids, with ClownyCaroline in the wings, wouldn’t be freely promiscuous, or drink and party like their Jersey counterparts in other shows. That is a testament to their overprotective mother, but a show with these two and the Manzos would be like watching paint dry. I hope this is one of those TMAN ploys, starting a rumor to see if some BRAVO exec takes the bait. Hopefully all the gay execs will keep it in their head and not greenlight an Albie production. I’d rather watch the Giudice Monkets go to Etiquette School, than watch Albie and Chris Get a Place.

  24. boston02127 says:

    Great blog Quincy. Thx

  25. quincyil says:

    Do paid bloggers get paid more for giving a thumb’s up to the Jill Zarin bedding collection? I googled it and there is a blog on this on the first google page. I guess this is how you connect with Jill Zarin.

  26. quincyil says:

    I hit a twitter address for Cat O from Lynn’s twitter account below and left on the screen. She’s done with the book. She wishes that she had an assistant. She thinks that the shock value will be high.

    Honestly, why would we care who she slept with as she ended her first marriage. We don’t know much about the British upper crust that she comes from. Raise your hand if you can name any one other than the Royal Family. Tony Blair has been gone for ages. I stopped watching the Parliament on Cspan on Sunday night because the new guy was incredibly boring. Maybe, our Canadian board members will know something, but most of us won’t. If she reveals something unsavory about the Obama Administration, that information would have come from Charles and it will further damage his career at Newsweek.

    • twoile says:

      Wikkileaks will do much more critical damage soon according 2 the UK news. Nothing Cat discloses will top that I think. p.s. I’m also under the impression that Cat may have elevated her social status some what & her bk may not b of any consequence at all. I.E. fiction 4 sale as fact, now where might we have seen that b4?

    • Adgirl says:

      It’s probably full of the rumors and gossip she isn’t allowed to publish in England. They have stricter laws there about slander and libel. I think her US publisher is hoping people will smuggle in the book or something.

    • Need a Hobby says:

      Last I heard Cat was still looking for a publisher? Didn’t sound like she had any offers for her book. I haven’t been paying attention, though.

    • TLM says:

      Is it me, or does it already seem like the RHODC was 100 years ago? I haven’t really thought about any of them. It really was Cirque de Salahi. I don’t really have a desire to read any book by Cat. Sure, Cat had the Salahis’ number, but so did everyone else. And I thought Cat was quite rude to Stacy on multiple occasions and never really apologized for it.

    • Had Enough! says:

      Quincy! Another odd bird who watches the UK Parliament. I was fascinated by the Prime Minister’s Question Time. Here I assumed that the Brits were even more staid and stuffy than the U.S. Congress, but here they were hooting, hollering, pounding their canes…and then Betty Boothroyd, the first and to date only female speaker of the House of Commons, hollering Order! Order I say! (pronounced AWDAH AWDAH I SAY). I once told my students that they should watch CSPAN on Friday night (that’s when Question Time was broadcast in the U.S.) and let’s just say that they looked at me with a mixture of pity (get a life) and fear (holy lord this woman is obsessed and she’s going to have impossibly high expectations).

      • quincyil says:

        I was a university professor for years too. I saw a lot of students grow and change the way they looked at learning under my wings, but some just don’t get it.

        Direct TV had the Canadian Parliament which I would follow, but we switched to Dish and lost the Canadian channel.

        I watch Link TV and know a lot of the perspective of Middle Eastern goverments. I don’t agree with everything, but there was a documenatry on Norman Finkelstein that you need to find. I look at how people think and that man is a genius. Try to find it.

        • TLM says:

          I was shocked when I first saw Parliament meetings on cable. We tend to think of the British being uber-polite and ourselves being the loud and rude ones. Well, if Parliament is any guide, that isn’t true. Does everyone recall how shocking it was when “You lie!” was yelled out? Granted, that was while the President was speaking, but shouting in the Congress and not waiting one’s turn to speak is just as shocking to me. It seems unprofessional, to say the least. A strange paradox since people here tend to blurt out what’s on their minds, yet for the most part, what’s said in Congress is very controlled, like a well-choreographed ballet.

        • meadowwood says:

          Genius? Finkelstein is a known anti-semite and a Holocaust denier amongst other things.

  27. Duchess of Dryer Lint says:

    Hey Lynn! Why doesn’t this blog show up in the recent postings list on the right side of the home page for your blogs? I have to go to the last blog where you posted “new blog and the link” to get to this page!

  28. Wall St Lady says:

    Oh Happy Day !

    I am doing the Happy Dance !

  29. twoile says:

    OT just wanted 2 let U know that PBS is currently showing a documentary on “The White House Photographer” (not Cats’ former Husband). I would gladly recommend it.

  30. Wall St Lady says:

    Hi Dutchess
    What u up to ?

    Hugs & kisses to LynnFam

  31. mariareads says:

    Thanks for the great blog! I enjoyed the writing too!

    Hmm..Sorry Manzo boys. I’m not watching you. Seriously? This must be aimed toward the young and desperate. I have never been into the kids on NJ but I could have seen this coming. Caroline promotes those kids like a sideshow. Hey, I love my kids too but I’m not in their business 24/7 so they still love me ; )

  32. Adgirl says:

    @ twoile- too bad i missed it. I’ll try to catch it next time. Did yoyu ever see the PBS reality series where they had families living in Victorian homes in England using only items available then. The female contestants in one home, mom and daughters snuck out to buy tampax.
    And there was another where the families lived on the American praire raising chickens (and eating them), cutting wood etc. They were allowed to bring one item with them from home that matched the times – one man brought a still and made & traded booze. His famliy was busted for cheating. They found an old abandoned box spring and snuck it under their bed.
    PBS cheaters!! How could you? Honestly, those were really rough shows to watch because the kids hated being there.

    • quincyil says:

      I caught Madame Bovary on the Ovation Channel. It will come on again. It is very much like the book.

    • Kansas Girl says:

      Oh, I loved those, but I’m kind of a history buff. The British ones always seemed better than the American ones. Loved the one set in Edwardian times, and the 1940s one too (they had bomb scares that actually scared the participants). In the American ones, something always went wrong or the participants cheated. But still fun to watch.

    • twoile says:

      Adgirl I vaguely remember some of the segments….may have been otherwise occupied at the time & missed most of it or I’m experiencing a prolonged brain fart….do recall the sense of discomfort concerning the “kids”though. Do love PBS/ have Comcast cable, there are no other options here in the apt bldg, would switch in a minute if able.

  33. NikkyT31 says:

    I love to read your blog everyday. Great Job!

  34. HD says:

    I loved this blog! It was very telling about Camille. I totally missed the fruit guy going to Hawaii to do her arrangements. Really? If I was Kelsy I would be running so damn fast in the other direction. It’s a wonder he stayed sober dealing with this lunatic everyday.

    Manzos-They are soooooooooooooo boring. Who would watch anything with them on it? They actually seem like good kids that work and/or go to school and in TV world that is boring. We need the drama. And watching them go on a few dates will certainly not entertain me. Bravo needs to stop milking everything. Sheesh!

  35. HD says:

    By the way…I’m pregnant. I know how many weeks I am, I know when I got knocked up and I might have a shower with ballerinas. We are still in the early stages, we’ll see. 🙂

    • quincyil says:

      Babies need oxygen, Kim. She’s a nurse. Let’s hope she stops.

    • TLM says:

      Ironic, isn’t it, that Kim touts her experience as a nurse re: Phaedra and then keeps on smoking. Her 2 older kids probably already have darkened lungs just from her smoking around them.

      Congrats HD!!

    • twoile says:

      HD, I just noticed what time in am you posted 4:33 is this b/c u r pregnant?

    • Had Enough! says:

      Thanks, Santa Knocknoc!

      Another WTF from Jill’s Trained Sasquatch:

      “If you want to date me it’s like dating a 16-year-old because I have to be home by the time the nanny comes home.”

      So wait. The nanny goes out and you go out and you have to be home by the time the nanny comes home? Huh? What? I am going to guess you meant “by the time the nanny GOES home…”?

      We know you don’t drink (except Patron, Kellade, beer, Svedka…) but maybe you had one too many when you answered this question?

      It is tough dating you because you are like a TWELVE year old girl, obsessed with unicorns and cartwheels and gummi bears, you are an incoherent mental case who thinks she is smokin’ hot, trendy, and really really really amazing when in fact you are none of those things. You are an unattractive never-was whose nanosecond in the spotlight ended 20 years ago, and now you are a pathetic freak who runs around in tutus and other bizzaro outfits, as our girl Bethenny said, to the opening of an envelope.

      But go ahead. Blame it on your daughters.

      Idiot.

      (Ah. My Kelly-fix of the day. I feel much better now).

      • Zipit Zarin says:

        Thank you for typing my thoughts exactly. I swear this woMAN needs a muzzle and a leash.

      • klmh says:

        I love your posts on KKB. 🙂

      • TLM says:

        It got even better: Bensimon is open to dating all types of guys and isn’t looking for a high roller: “I’m not really into going out with high-profile people. I want a life for my kids.”

        Really? Is this the same woman who said, “I was married to GILLES BENSIMON, one of the most famous photographers in the world. The next person I’m with would have to be someone big, like that.”

        Glad to know Kelly is still wildly contradicting herself. I’m sure that gives her kids a real sense of stability, too.

  36. Had Enough! says:

    Some people DO go to jail for tax evasion:

    Hotelier Leona Helmsley was already known as the Queen of Mean when she boasted that “We don’t pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes.” The IRS thought differently. Helmsley went to jail for four years for claiming more than $2.6 million in phony business expenses.

    Chuck Berry served four months in jail after pleading guilty to tax evasion in 1979.

    Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss was sentenced to three years in jail for conspiracy, income tax evasion and money laundering.

    Richard Hatch, the $1 million winner of “Survivor’s” first season, was found guilty of failing to pay taxes on his winnings. Sentenced to 51 months.

    Ronald Isley, of the R&B group the Isley Brothers, got a 37-month sentence on five counts of tax evasion and one count of willful failure to file a tax return

  37. Had Enough! says:

    Thomas Killoren, the brother of Jill’s Trained Sasquatch, lives and works in Spartansburg, South Carolina. His sister lives on a different planet:

    “Went to Renatos in Spartanberg. SC and they made a great penne a la vodka. It was delicioussssss”

    Idiot.

  38. Had Enough! says:

    You know those obnoxious, self-important, oblivious people who drag half their belongings onto the plane and take up the entire overhead bin? Especially at busy travel times, like the night before Thanksgiving?

    http://yfrog.com/j65hw0j

    Idiot.

    • TLM says:

      It does look like maybe it’s a private plane, since they’re boarding right on the tarmac and there isn’t a crew member standing there? Maybe it’s Jill’s private plane from St. John. 😉

Comments are closed.