I Hate Jill Zarin The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
GUEST BLOG – Thank you Had Enough! for this great blog!
The Millionairess Matchmakers of Beverly Hills and Giggy Goes to Dinner
I was wondering what might happen this week that would be interesting – and interesting to write/snark about, since the only story arc to day – this insane fight between Mrs. Kelsey Grammer (tm Put Your Hair Up/Real City Housewife) and Kyle seems to have wound down. By the way, Mrs. Kelsey Grammer – we noticed that you told Joy Behar you are keeping his last name. Now ordinarily, that would be fine, since women married 13 years would do that. But you’ve made this huge stink about wanting to come out of his shadow – that’s your intro tag line – and the whole fight was about your belief that Kyle said that no one cares about you without Kelsey. Which is true. But fine. Take your pick of names. Mrs. Kelsey Grammer or Camille Who?
So the whole show revolves around finding Kim a mate. Which could be a really interesting story line were it for someone other than Kim.
But we start with a makeover for Kim. All we see is a facial. Which looked horrible – – like Hannibal in his mask in Silence of the Lambs. Otherwise, this was just a dull slice-of-life scene. Ramona’s sweaty pit scene was way better.
Kim’s makeover should start with a new personality. That’s her problem, not her appearance. I wonder if this intense insecurity and neurosis is real, or if it is a role she’s played for attention for so long that it has become who she really is. She has had seriously sad stuff in her life, but the sad sack thing gets old in a hurry.
I do love Lisa. She’s warm and funny and somehow manages to be real in the phoniest place on the planet. Her description of Kim was funny – “you know how you like those those tall blondes? Well she isn’t one of them.” Odd to describe Kim as feisty. How can a limp noodle be feisty? Martin has a wonderful smile but apart from that I can’t get a read on him.
Taylor. What did she look like when she chased Russell? Was she pretty then? What does he think when he wakes up and sees this freak face in the morning? When he goes away on a business trip and comes home to this clown face? She looked even worse in this episode. Apparently, she had a new load of filler in her lips yesterday. The hair just accentuates it – flattened down on top of her head and around her face. I didn’t see anything wrong with Kennedy’s eyes and the doc basically said just that. She looked fine to me. Did anyone see wheezing, sneezing, etc? No? Could this woman actually be so cruel as to take the dog away from her kid – already heading into major neuroses – in a bid for an interesting story line? Or to try to exercise some muscle in her marriage? Then the talk on the patio about the dog. Russell is clearly not buying it and I am sure he’s thinking, “Dog stays, you go. Problem solved.” So then Taylor pretends to play with the dog and kiss him so that we won’t think she is the heartless bitch she obviously is.
Kim goes to lunch with her daughter. Yawn. Kim uses the kids as an excuse not to date. They are iffy about it. No, Kim. You are just not hot material – age, appearance, baggage, an 18-wheeler full of issues following you around.
Oh crap. It is Mrs. Kelsey Grammer shopping for a dress for the Tony awards – which were held on June 13. Now before the awards, she got the call telling her that her husband was cheating on her. Was it before this shopping trip? Because if I got a call like that, I’d be on the next flight to New York, not out shopping with my house manager for a dress. Why is she shopping with her house manager? Doesn’t she have any friends she doesn’t have to pay? Are her friends like prostitutes (without benefits)? And the crazy eyes – Ramona is so much better at crazy eyes. The camera was really hard on Mrs. KG this time. Skin looked like plastic. Worn, stretchy plastic. Like an old girdle. I am guessing that the camera guys “oops sorry forgot but we have to shoot this today Mrs KG” their gauze and vaseline today. Let’s just say that high def is not kind to these women.
I may be a party of one here, but I think Adrienne and Paul do have their own style and understanding. Let’s face it – it is easy to be irritated by a husband. Easier to be irritated than not. It takes work to not let them drive you crazy. Actually, that’s true of anyone you live with. All that togetherness can be trying. Once in a while you have to check yourself, slap yourself in the face, and remind yourself that you love this guy, that everyone has faults. That you drive him nuts, too. And you have to turn on the love and affection. What Paul did was lovely and I think she didn’t do enough to turn on the love and affection. But I kind of got what happened here. She was a bit uncomfortable with all the attention. And I think that public displays of affection are not her style. She did look so happy, though, and I hope that she continued to let her guard down so that she could be sure to let Paul know he’d made her happy.
Now we go to dinner at a 60,000 sq ft house owned by Mohammed and Julia, who are not rich enough to have last names. By the way, Lisa, those low-cut dresses with the fleurchons (tm Angela Jubilee Jumbles Keslar of Project Runway infamy) are getting old. We think he is mega-builder Mohamed Hadid . Yolanda Hadid is a former Dutch model who in most photos is a blond. The internetz say she is dating someone named David Foster, so maybe she is the former Mrs. Hadid? She is still described on the website as his wife. The size is obscene but the garden/pool façade and area were gorgeous as was the view. Otherwise, it was pure gauche. What I loved most about it, though, was the mental image of Teresa Broke-Ass-Tuesday-Morning-Crap Guidice and her equally broke-ass sister-in-law, Melissa Gorda, watching this show and realizing just how pathetic their phony little Taj Mahovels (tm RealEstalker) really are. Anyway, to me these are not homes. They are the real estate equivalent of Taylor’s lips. Ridiculous.
Otherwise, it was like watching the Academy Awards – turn off the sound, look at the gorgeous clothes. Lisa fretted about looking like an old frump behind that young trophy wife, but I thought Lisa looked beyond phenomenal.
So now Kim shows up. Why didn’t Martin pick her up at her home? She dressed in Kim style. Time to get a new look, Kim. Really really not flattering. And no Kyle – you didn’t make Kim nervous. Nervous is also Kim’s style. There’s never been a moment on this show when she hasn’t been nervous, tense, worried, trembling. So she disappears and everyone speculates that Kim the flake has left the party. No – she just went to the loo, and came back on the arm of a semi-attractive French guy. Spurring jokes about her having picked up a date while on a date. The plate they gave her – banana between two huge strawberries – how far in advance was that planned? Where is Olivia when we need her?
And then she runs back to the ladies room. What? Then she comes back to the table and everyone discusses the potential for this relationship based on …. well, let’s see. He didn’t pick her up at her house, she walked into the party alone, they didn’t sit together…so based on a few minutes of nervous conversation. And then she rates him in front of everyone. Then she critiques him to Paul, right in front of him.
Then some house porn shots, and we see Kyle and Mauricio loving one another. Taylor is jealous. You should be, Taylor. You married for money, you got money, and now you wonder why you don’t have love? Hug hug kiss kiss night night all. Kim and Martin walked out hand in hand and Martin drove her home. Cedric takes a dip in the Turkish bath and everyone gets a look at his teeny weeny. Lisa seems surprised. Oh come, on. He’s been your houseguest for how long? Surely you’ve sneaked a peak in the past.
So, seems I was mostly right. There wasn’t much to this one. We always say we’d like to just see these rich women living their lives, and there was a lot of that in this one. Do I like it better than the BS drama? Hell yes. It is just really hard to blog it.
One last little bit: Taylor and Kyle have lunch and we hear the dog story. And then right into the marriage woes. I just realized what Russell sees in Taylor and her lips. Well, to tell the truth, my husband pointed it out. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. Anyone want to start a pool on the date we read that they’ve split? And yes, Taylor, it is unfair to ask. You married him for money and you got it. No renegotiating. Now we know that when mean when you say “I have everything but I want more.” Sorry, Taylor, but unless your money can buy you love, you are just going to have to stay put, put up, and put out
When you start repeating yourself, the blog is done.
Onto other business:
KellIdiot did some major inhaling yesterday. Now, it has been a good many years for me, but in my day, I did some serious inhaling myself and I know stoner talk when I see it. Good lord, the world is just so amazing and deeeeelish and SOOO hot and yummm…but first, some howlers from Jill’s Trained Sasquatch:
“@amoore83 i have never in my life been called “mean” in my life. Are u sure u know who are talking about?”
Umm, over here, KellIdiot. On IHJZ. We have been calling you mean for months. Every blogger in the universe – hobby bloggers and high falutin’ professional fancy pants bloggers alike – we have all been calling you mean. See what happens when you ignore the haters? You miss this really important stuff.
And second, the woman who wants to spend all her time with her kids (in between frequent trips to Vegas, Boston, Miami…) is now again in Miami. OH NO! QUICK – HIDE YOUR EYES. BIKINI SHOTS SURE TO FOLLOW ANY SECOND NOW. IT IS APPARENTLY COLD IN MIAMI, BUT WE ALL KNOW THAT WON’T STOP HER.
And now for the totally stoned twitterfest:
Sun, white tea, and the Fountainbleu. I am in miami heaven. Now, for some art.
Check out this candy cane from CVS. YÙmmmmmmmhttp://yfrog.com/0ll9o0j
My new jewelry line “kelly” is going to be at W hotel in miami on sat. Sooo hot!!!!!!!
Going to say hi to amazing swimsuit designer tomas maier. Wanna come?
Coolest art basel calender: artbasel.aol.com
Just left midtown. Tomas maiers store is amazing, and lisa eisner’s photographs are unreal. Why not #becreative?
@gregthedogguy yeah. My angel chief she is starting to be sooo good: sit, stay, paw, stay, couche, sit, paw, stay, paw, stay, freeee
Invited to a hanukkah party, what do i bring??
(Umm, just a suggestion, but I’m sure they’d appreciate having a toke or two of whatever you are smoking).
Getting a cafe con leche at 324 lincoln road. I love this coffee soo much
@BravoAndy next year you are coming with me to #artbasel. You’d love it. Its so fun and insanely creative. Muahhhhh, cutie
All capped off with a picture of herself tweeting: http://yfrog.com/emon701j
So insanely creatively amazingly smokingly hot.
And finally, on a serious and sad note, please remember to keep Boston in your hearts and thoughts today. Just bringing some info over in case anyone has concerns about where we are going to send this money collected in honor of Boston:
According to Charity Navigator, PSP Foundation has a 4-star rating (that’s the highest given). Their administrative expenses are low – only 1.7% of their budget, and – to me the thing that matters a lot – their fundraising expenses are only 6.3% of their budget. It is a very small foundation – revenue under $5 mill/year. If anything, they should probably spend more on fundraising. But these “orphan diseases” – it is hard to raise money for them. The executive director is not paid an exorbitant salary by any standards; it is quite reasonable for the area where the foundation is located.
If you can give – anything at all is appreciated –
Go to the paypal website:
Then once you have signed up, sign in with your userid and password.
Click on send money.
Put the e-mail address RHSmith355@Gmail.com in the “to” box. Put in the amount you want to send. Click personal and click gift or other.
Then click continue. Review the info to be sure it is correct. Then in the message box, write For Boston.
Then click Send money.
(PS – if you want Lynn to put your real name – first or first and last – on the card, tell her that in the message box)
quincyil says: December 3, 2010 at 8:25 am (Edit)http://losangeles.modernluxury.com/style/surreal-estate-mega-spec-developer-mohamed-hadid
A number of us follow real estate transactions and love looking at those homes. Mohammed Hadid created the 55,000,000 million dollar mansion in 18 months. He is “the” mansion builder in LA. This was a one of a kind French mansion with gardens to match. There is a gym and a 20 car garage. Someone rich from Indonesia purchased the house right after they filmed and Mauricio brokered the deal. I think that Mauricio must be a very big shot in LA realestate. Camille seems to have had no impact on his career.
Thank you again Had Enough! Nice work breaking down the ladies of Beverly Hills!
I have also started a blog on RHOBH and will post it tomorrow. Thank you Had Enough for the information on Boston’s mom and our charity donation. Thank you to those who have already donated, I’m going to give it a bit more time for Boston to deal with all of this before I complete this process so you do have time to contribute.
As some of you may know, I have joined Yahoo’s Associated Content site and they have published my first article, this morning they published my second offering. I submitted an article on the Children of Bravo and it was also published! I’m well on my way to losing the Hobby Blogger title and becoming a “professional writer” hahaha (that’s a joke!)
LynnNChicago: Real Housewives News Updates Gossip @ http://look.ac/hqu5u7
Another one Published!
And please dont forget to follow the lowly Hobby Bloggers… (kidding!)
Until Next Time…