I Hate Jill Zarin Millionaire Matchmaker Guest Blog
Thank you, as always, to Quincy IL for watching this foul woman (Patti Stanger) for all of us, I just cannot do it but I do enjoy the recaps, great job Quincy!
I’ve added a new article to my Yahoo Associate Content site, a write up about Lisa Vanderpump of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and was surprised this morning when I noticed that Lisa herself posted a comment on the article!
You can view that here:
My blog on Monday’s Tabatha’s Salon Takeover has also been posted there but is being “reviewed” by Yahoo’s finest editors, once it’s published, I’ll post the link here. Hopefully it will be before the next episode airs.
And now, here is Quincy with this amazing guest blog:
Patti and Two D Rated Millionaires
The show opens with Patti and Bobby Thomas, the stylist for the Today Show, walking to one of Patti’s money making enterprises, a dating workshop in NYC. Bobby tells the girls that they will spend 3 hours to find and dress for the club, but they will most likely find their husbands at work. Patti shows them that they need to show skin, have straight hair. Patti tells us that the girls are frumpty (her word.) She says they look like girls going to a Mormon wedding or look ready for a Hula Dance. The girls all laugh.
Patty arrives at work in tan shorts and a dark blue top. She is wearing high heels. Her eye shadow is bright blue. Patti is upset and shares with staff that she has no email and no attachments. Patti tells us that Andrea better have hot girls or else. The staff is ready for the introduction of two millionaires. Doug is a divorce attorney, 38 (he later tells us 37.) He wants exotic with a nice butt. He wants a girl that will come to his office in a trench coat with lingerie underneath. He wants to get married. Dameon (Dame) works on Wall Street in institutional sales and has 2 million net worth. He wants a wife for his brother too. Both are bald. Dame would like a petite blonde with blue eyes. If she was Jewish it would be easier (with mom.)
Millionaires Meet Patti
Patty didn’t like Doug’s abdominal muscles and told him that it was strange that he took his shirt off in the introduction DVD. He says that he does not do that on first dates. Doug is into guitar music and tattoos. He has seen the worst side of marriage as he makes his millions handling divorces. He tells us that whoever gets the kids gets support so we know he goes after the juggler. He has been having a lot of first dates. His longest dating period was for 3 to 4 months. Patti tells us that Doug has BBD, Bigger Better Deal. He gets bored with what he has and goes for another type.
Patty and Dustin meet Dame and his brother at their Wall Street office. The two brothers have lived together for 10 years and only separated 3 weeks ago. They walk alike. They talk alike. They finish each other sentenced. Patti tells Dame that his brother cannot come on the date. She also suggests that Dame’s parents were brother and sister who married. Dame wants a petite, bubbly, blonde Jewish girl. Patti tells him that is impossible in NYC. Patti thinks there is something creepy going on.
For Dame, there is Ilene. Ilene is a sweet girl next door and Jewish. She’s blonde. Rachel is a blonde tall glass of water. Sharon is 21 and inappropriate. She is a hostess in Tenjune. She is the inappropriateness test this week.
For Doug, Patti has collected brunettes. Nelle is a model in a straight long wig. She shows Patti that she does have hair, but Patti tells her to come in the wig. Patti doesn’t like her look, but tells her to come. Nelle has tattoos and Doug wanted tattoos. Esther is tall, thin and she has horse teeth. Patti tells her to go to a dentist and have her teeth filed. Esther had no idea that she was not a beauty. She’s Jewish and from NYC. Keren is exotic, dark, thin, a professional dance, and Israeli. She is perfect for Doug according to Patti.
Doug is good at the Mixer. He is not BBD, Bigger Better Deal. He tells us that the girls were hot with great boobs and butt so he didn’t know where to focus. (He’s a butt guy so I guess he should focus there.) Doug tells them he is a divorce lawyer. The girls look unenthusiastic. He tells them that he has seen the worst of the worst and the girls look more unenthusiastic.
Dameon (Dame) is awful. He leers. He says inappropriate things. Patti put a bug in his ear so that Dustin, Rachel and Patti can all scream instructions to Dameon while he is trying to talk to the women in the mixer. He starts conversations and then they yell at him to talk to the girl on his right. Patti has never done this before so this is tonight’s mixer surprise. A girl has water so Patti tells him to run to the bar for a Mimosa and he obeys.
Doug wants to see Nelle’s tattoos and asks her if the next one will be on her side boob. Nelle is miserable and she tells us that this is why you have minidates. Doug feels he has more in common with Keren, an Israeli exotic dancer. She’s the lucky girl tonight.
. In reference to children, he asks Sharon (Miss Inappropriate Test) “Don’t you just hate the little bastards (children?)” He recognized her from Tenjune and I think she recognized him and was disappointed. She calls Dameon, Uncle Fester (from the Adams Family.) Dustin, a Gothic, gives Dameon advice on how to approach women. Dameon thinks a guy with spiked hair is the actual creep. Dameon decides that Ilene is like his mom a kindergarten teacher for 30 years so she is the second lucky girl of the night.
In the limo, Doug asks Keren what she did in the Army. She was in the Israeli Air Force, but is not allowed to talk about it. Doug takes Keren to a spa and she is directed to put on a mini bikini. She goes to the corner of the hot tub and he follows her in trapping her so that she is absolutely miserable. He asks if he can watch her leave. He is a butt man. She says ok and the camera pans on her butt. He takes her to a restaurant where she doesn’t want to share her food with him and he is disappointed. The conversation goes well and they actually laugh.
Dameon pick up Ilene at Carry Bradshaw’s street and apartment in Mr. Big’s black limo.
Dameon takes Ilene to a private area of a fine NYC restaurant with a private chef. He wants her to eat a partially grown duck embryo, but she refuses. He leers at her and makes her uncomfortable. He tries to force her to eat the food and is upset when she refuses.
Patti talks to Keren and she had a good time at the French Restaurant. She was uncomfortable with the spa experience. Patti tells Doug that this was bad. He tells Doug to stop the sexual stuff. Keren agreed to a second date. She’s an Israeli Army soldier and strong.
Patti talks to Ilene on the phone. She hated the date. She was grossed out by the duck embryo and by Dameon. Patti is sitting on a chair in shorts, but she opens her legs to show us that no girl will open their legs for Dameon. (Nice, classy.) Dameon complains about the date that Patti provided to him for free as he was on her TV show. Dustin and Patti start screaming at Dameon and kick him out of the office. Patti tells us that Dameon leered at Ilene. Dustin said that he look at her as if she was prey to be eaten like a lion or a hyena.
Doug had a second date, but Keren decided that she had to move back to Israel ASAP. End of relationship…
Dameon… kicked out, Ilene probably decided to move to Chicago ASAP because Dameon knew where she lives now.
Patti’s score…0…. 0
Thanks again Quincy, so I believe if my math is correct, Patti is 2 successes to one million attempts at matchmaking, way to go Stanger! Anyone can get 2 when given as many chances as Patti is given.
Is this season over yet? I’m loving Quincy’s recaps but this woman’s (Stanger) voice even on the previews for the show makes me want to vomit!
Ms. Dina Manzo is coming to Chicago next week, for those that have asked, no I will not be attending the charity function at the Hyatt. I wouldn’t pay $30 to a questionable charity, I would much rather send my $30 directly to the family or to the hospital, that way I know the money is going to help someone rather than toward paying for Dina’s suite at the Hyatt Chicago while she’s in town.
The venue is beautiful, I’ve been there many times for parties, weddings and work functions but I can only imagine how much of the donations are going to pay for the venue, food and drinks rather than going toward the child who is in need.
I am still unclear as to what Dina’s fundraising goals are, is there still one child in Chicago that she’s helping or is she helping more than one child? raising funds for a hospital? a specific disease?
I do give kudos to Dina for her attempts, I would just really rather she would put her efforts into an established charity that has already been checked out and verified, her name and focus could do a whole lot of good for worthy charity. Starting a new charity from scratch is a challenge and it is December of 2010 and we still haven’t seen any financial reports for 2009, so how do we know where the money that has been donated has been spent?
I wish Dina Manzo the best of luck with her fundraising event in Chicago.
Until Next Time…