I Hate Jill Zarin Millionaire Matchmaker / The Fashion Show Guest Blogs
Today we have our usual Wednesday morning treat, our guest blog from Quincy IL of The Fashion Show and Millionaire Matchmaker. A bit of a twist this week, I did write my thoughts on The Fashion Show, only because it featured the Real Housewives did I feel the need to add my two cents so an extra long IHJZ entry today with three full blogs for the price of one…
The Fashion Show Week Five by Quincy IL
Dominique is melancholy. She spoke up last week to save David, her love, and her friend Ro was sent home. The House of Nami is depressed. The House of Emerald is on a high, laughing and smiling. It’s morning and there is a note from Isaac under the door. They are to go to the Upper East Side to a restaurant called Danielle where elegant ladies meet to discuss what they are going to wear to the Opening of the Met or a NYC Gala.
The teams enter the restaurant where the notice women sitting at tables with their backs to the camera. Isaac tells them that they are to design for out of town women who want to fit in with NYC fashion. Caser feels he has the advantage because gowns are not a problem for him. Dominique is worried. She designs shorter dresses.
Issac tells the two teams that they are going to design for “real” women, not models. (“Real?” That’s a stretch of the truth, Isaac.) He introduces the Real Housewives of Orange County and the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Calvin tells us, “ I don’t work with real clients because they can be bitchy.” Calvin looks over the women and says that one side sparkles with blond hair and the other side is dark hair. He says, “All about bosom and bosom some more.” Isaac speaks to the NJ housewives and says, “Don’t think that the irony of the name of the restaurant, Danielle, is lost on me. The NJ housewives act coy. Dina only smiles, but Jacqueline says, “Danielle, who?” several times while laughing. Jeffrey tells us that these are women who know what they want and get what they want. We also learn that the idea from this challenge comes from a dress down article from “Harper’s Bazaar” on the NY City RH and we are shown a photo of the women in long dark/black gowns on glamorous couches with their hair on top of their heads. Bethenny is in the center it looks like the season two cast. Cesar tells us that this is a West Coast/East Coast challenge. He watches the Real Housewives series and knows the women. He says NJ will be hard to deal with so his team requests OC. Calvin watches the Housewifes series too and he says, “New Jersey don’t need to dress up, need to class up.”
The designers have 30 minutes to meet with the ladies and get a sense of the gowns they would like to wear to a gala in NYC. (Not one of those ladies would go to the Opening of the Met it seems.)
The House of Emerald : Jeffrey has Lynn. He looks at her body and decides to cover up flesh. He talks about sleeves and the lines of the gown. (Jeffrey does not watch OC because he has no idea of Lynn’s fashion sense.) Cesar has Ashley, Laurie’s daughter, who has real and large breasts. He tells us that a dress for Ashley will be more difficult as she will need a lot of support to hold the breasts up. He thinks there should be a hour glass look with a corset. Gonessa has Gretchen who has brought her own drawings. Gonessa thinks this might be a problem. Gonessa measures Gretchen and is impressed that her measurements at the same size as her mannequin which was set up for her model Gretchen is pleased to hear this. (Trouble coming.) Cindy has Laurie and their conversation about design goes well. Laurie likes lots of cleavage, but Cindy will tone that down.
The House of Nami: Eduardo has Dina who has difficulty understanding his fashion design terms and his Peruvian accent so she makes fun of both. She asks if he is designing for an animal and laughs. (She is trying to be humorous.) Dominique meets with Jacqueline who hates her own arms, doesn’t want to show cellulite and tells Dominique that you have to make her look good on the runway because “we ate the ones who have to walk out there.” David meets with Caroline. David has a great love for his mother and grandmother. They taught him how to sew. David tells Caroline says, “You have the same figure as my mother. Caroline dead pans. She is obviously upset. David tries to fix this and says, “but not as much breast.” Caroline tells the camera, “I almost wish I had Teresa’s designer.” (That would be Calvin.) Teresa tells Calvin that she likes green She likes to be different. She wants her butt and breast to show. Calvin talks about a mermaid dress. When discussing the cloth, Calvin says to Teresa that he will use “silk charmouse.” Teresa doesn’t understand and she cannot pronounce “charmouse.” Teresa is happy. She wants the most fabulous dress and she wants to win.
Mood Boards and Presentation to Isaac
The teams are given 30 minutes in their work space to come up with mood boards for their collections.
The House of Nami seems to be in disarray. David tells us that Eduardo is off in his own world, that Dominique is depressed that Ro was “out of fashion,” and Calvin is Calvin (not a team player.) Calvin has a lot to say about the design that David offers to Isaac. He says, “Caroline don’t show her back because of age, look very, very slutty.” Isaac seems to like the suggestions that Calvin has for David’s dress. David does not want help from Calvin. He tells us that Caroline has very flat shoulders (Where have I heard that before?) The colors that they chose were jewel tones from the sea, greens and blues. Calvin tells us that darker colors will flatter the darker skins of the NJ ladies.
The House of Emerald is on a high. They chose golds and light colors. Isaac tells them to be careful and points out a yellow gold cloth that looks cheap.
Each designer is given 100 dollars. As usual, they combine their funds and share materials. Team Emerald finds silk jerseys in the right tones. Team Nami has 3 blues and one green that everyone but David thinks is wrong for the collection. Dominique describes the green as cheap and “leprechaunish.” The team gives in and David buys that green cloth.
Design Day 1
House of Emerald: Cesar tells us that Onessa doesn’t drape, cut or sew well. Cindy does not like Cesar telling Onessa what to do. Cindy and Onessa have worked together for years and are best friends. Cindy said that Onessa knows how to do these things. Jeffrey lives in NY and he knows that NY fashions are different from Hollywood. Gretchen wants to show off her figure especially her perfect mannequin rear so Onessa makes the silk jersey skin tight according to Grethchen’s measurements taken in a slinky gown.
House of Nami: Dina usually wears cocktail dresses. Eduardo thinks it will be a challenge to make her figure fit a long gown. He creates the upper dress and then waist line area, then drapes. David is really worried about Caroline’s shape. He mentions his models mannequin several times. Caroline’s body scares David. Caroline is short with large breasts. David is upset. Calvin comes to David to help him and ends up yelling that David needs to give more support for the breasts. Calvin has finished his dress and is bored. He decides to make another dress for fun. Teresa is getting two designer dresses.
Fitting the Housewives
House of Emerald: Gretchen arrives and she points out the dresses that she hopes is not hers. Lynn doesn’t like her dress, she has never chosen that color before, and there is too much cloth. When the dress goes on Lynn she is really upset and pretends she can’t breathe. This is the kind of top that Lynn wears when she is running. Jeffrey takes a scissors and carefully cuts down the front of the dress and folds back the cloth exposing breasts. Lynn can breathe again. The OC ladies all say that this looks better. Breast tissue is properly exposed. Jeffrey tells us in interview that Lynn wanted to be naked.
Cesar likes his dress on Ashley. The dress holds up her large, natural breasts. Caser feels his task is complete. Cindy helps Laurie into her dress and Laurie loves it. It shows her figure and is the perfect color. Laurie says that she could win an Oscar in that dress. Onessa shyly helps Gretchen into the skin tight dress and Gretchen is pleased. Then, Gretchen walks and rips the silk jersey seam on the left side of her hip. Gretchen firmly tells Onessa, the designer, “Make sure it looks good whatever you are trying to do.” Gretchen is not pleased now. In the line up for the fashion show, the dresses look cohesive and other than showing Gretchen’s white lace underwear and hip skin, everything is great.
House of Nami: Dominique helps Jacqueline into the modest dress that she asked for. The dress looks like a design for a servant’s dress from the 1600’s. It does not show cellulite, arms or breasts. That is what Jacqueline wanted, but you can tell she does not like the dress. Calvin helps Teresa into the first designer dress. Dina thinks the dress looks like something from Scores, a strip club. Jacquelline says, “Ask Danielle.” Thus the tone is set for the NJ Fashion Show. Teresa tries on the second dress and it is more dramatic. Teresa would like the first dress in the color of the second dress and Calvin freaks out. He says that he is the designer and she will wear the first dress. In an interview, Calvin says, “These women are not mannequins.” David’s dress is very green and has a wing on the back of the left shoulder. Dina says that Caroline looks like Peter Pan. Steam comes from Caroline’s nostrils. David is in trouble. His green color does not go with the collection and it looks awful on Caroline with her very red hair.
Back to work
House of Nami: Dominque is in tears. Nami is falling apart. Calvin asks if there is enough cloth to make another dress. David is now freaking out. Dominque and Eduardo change their plans and give David some chiffon in their colors and they decided to cover the first dress with cloth that will cover the green and help the collection cohesiveness.
Eduardo helps David. Then, Calvin tries to help with the zipper area in back. David freak. Calvin freaks. Dominique cries.
House of Emerald: Jeffrey hates the neckline that Lynn insisted on and he is worried. Gonessa adds cloth to the Gretchen hip tears. She says that something was wrong with Gretchen’s measurements, Onessa thinks that either the silk shrunk of Gretchen is not mannequin size. Onessa adds cloth, but the it looks like a vagina on her Gretchen’s side.
The Fashion Show
The House of Nami: Dominique is upset over David’s dress. Caroline loves David’s dress which has blue chiffon over the emerald green dress and is missing the wings in back. It looks great on Caroline too. The ladies (of both houses) look like the rest of us before makeup and hair. Caroline and Calvin get into a fight. Caroline is in a chair when Calvin tells us his blood is beginning to boil. Caroline tells Calvin, “Look at me, look at me.” She wants to give Calvin her demands. She tells us in interview that “Calvin is an ass.”
House of Emerald: Laurie is to walk first. She loves her dress and walks like a model. The music is from the Met. Lynn is the second to walk. She turns and the camera focuses on the folds of skin hanging on her lower back. Dina is shown on camera announcing that “her beams were showing.” This doesn’t fit, but is Bravo editing at its very best. Gretchen walks and appears happy. Ashley walks last. They line up on the side of the stage. We are told they look like “Barbie Dolls.”
The House of Nami: the designers have watched the OC ladies and they think they have lost. The music comes on and it’s burlesque. An arm comes onto the stage like Gypsy Rose Lee. The arm belongs to Teresa and she looks gorgeous. She walks with a strut and shows her stuff. She sits on a long couch. Jacqueline comes out with two men in tuxedoes and she walks. Caroline walks and sits with her head turned. Dina is the last. She walks with a hand on her hip. The NJ girls were given the instructions to be gentile and the NJ gentile rocked it with the audience. The designers are shocked and happy. The NJ girls saved them.
Before the Judges make their decision, they want to hear from each house wife. That is why this show was 75 minutes and this guest blog is very long.
House of Emerald: Isaac tell us that the colors were perfect and designs reflected High Society. Jeffry tells the judges that he wanted a high neckline, but Lynn did not. Isaac tells Jeffrey that he should have explained to Lynn that a high neckline was better for Lynn. Lynn would wear the dress to a pool party, but the judges tell her that the goal was not attire for a pool party. Cesar’s dress for Ashley was “Scarlett O’Hara.” The judges pointed out the odd hemline and the unfinished petticoat. Cesar is told to pick a design that he can finish in the allotted time. Gonessa is told that the top of Gretchen’s dress is exquisite, but the bottom is terrible. Isaac asks about the odd seam on the hip. Gretchen tells the judges that she had spanx on during the measurements and the judges gasp. Cindy’s dress for Laurie was loved by the judges. The mention the strength, fluidity, and proportions. However, the length was not correct.
House of Nami: Calvin describes Teresa’s dress. He tells the judges that Teresa is confident like himself. The judges like the bodice, but hate what was happening at the hip. Teresa tries to pull it down, but that does not help. Dominique describes Jacqueline’s dress as modest and classic, but the judges think it is meek and that the dress did not show well. (It looked like a milk maid outfit to me.) David’s chaffon covered Peter Pan dress was a hit. The judges remarked on how the green underdress and blue chiffon over dress shimmered in the lights. Eduardo’s dress for Dina was perfect for her body and hips. The judges loved the materials. They loved the design. However, Isaac asked if they had seen this before. Eduardo is told to go out of his box.
Winners and Losers
The winning team is the House of Nami. The judges love David’s two layered dress worn by Caroline and Eduardo’s dress for Dina. Dina’s dress is chosen as the winner and she kisses Eduardo. Eduardo now has 1500 extra for materials if he makes the finals.
The losing team is the House of Emerald. The judges single out Jeffry’s dress for Lynn and Gonessa’s dress for Gretchen. The judges like Cindy’s dress for Laurie the most. The judges are not enthusiastic about Cesar’s dress for Ashley, but he is given a pass. Jeffrey and Gonessa stand on stage. Gonessa is told “ You are out of fashion.” Gonessa hugs Jeffrey and then cries in the arms of Cindy her partner and good friend. She cries in the exit interview, but says she is still there with Cindy. She takes her things and leaves.
Millionaire Matchmaker By Quincy IL
Patti and Powerful New York Women
We open with Patti’s fabulous life and a party for her fabulous friends which include Jill and Bobby Zarin. Jill suggests that Patti find someone for their good friend, Judith Regan, who was a book publicist and has become extremely wealthy. Judith is willing to play along. Judith is 56 and soon to be 57. She has one divorce that lasted longer than her marriage and doesn’t seem the marrying type. She wants someone funny like Bruce Bilach who is a gay comedian. Patti thinks Judith has no sex drive. (At least compared to the sex drive she had in her past.)
The other female millionaire is Andrea, 40. Andrea owns a catering business for celebrities. She has worked non stop since she was a teen and now wants to find love. Amazingly, this beautiful woman can not find a man without Patti’s help. Andrea can’t turn off “being the boss.” Andrea has a list of wants that she has kept since she was a teen. Patti doesn’t like that.
It’s a small stand of cattle this week. 3 men are chosen for each woman.
The staff looks at photos to find 3 guys for Andrea. Some are too old. Some are too ugly, but somehow Patti finds 3 that are just right.
Patty and her 3 employees walk the streets in New York City like the girls in “Sex and the City.” They go at noon to a comedy club to find men with a sense of humor. The jokes from the comedians all fall flat. It’s noon. Patti finds Carlos who owns a restaurant and has a few good one liners. She has a second comedian that she will use. Then, she mentions Dave from a few weeks ago because she thought he was funny.
Patty takes Judith Regan to Delmonico’s to meet the “famous” comedian, Bruce Vilanch who tells Judith that he is openly gay. Bruce states that, “It’s the dicks, not the chicks.”
Andrea really doesn’t like any of the guys but it willing to go with Carlos who owns a restaurant. Carlos likes Andrea.
Judith and Patti are shocked that back up Dave is a heckler and will not let the other two men talk on camera. He is told to leave. Patti tells up that Dave is a “neurotic idiot.”
Judith chooses John (not back up Dave.)
Andrea violates the rules and shows us her entire menu as she cooks samples for Carlos who has never had a woman plan the first date. He tells Andrea about his life of poverty to working in a kitchen for food and to owning NYC restaurants. She is impressed and the date goes well.
John takes Judith to a Sex Museum filled with stuff that I refuse to write about. Judith is a good sport, but she was not thrilled with this. (Later, Patti thinks this was creative.) John does take Judith to dinner and she is very polite and kind. His jokes fall flat John thinks Judith was a dominatrix, but she does not respond verbally.
Carlos, on the phone, tells Patti that Andrea planned the date. Patti calls Andrea in and goes ballistic. Patti screams, “I’m done.” (If only that was true.) Andrea is able to control her emotions and in the end she is going to go on a second date with Carolos.
Patti claims that she was successful in finding mates for both women, but I doubt it.
Thank you again Quincy for all of your hard work, I admire you for being able to stomach Patti Stanger week after week, her voice alone makes me want to throw something at my tv, so I have to turn her off!
I’ve lost track of her matchmaking record but even if we reluctantly give her these two matches, she’s still no where near “amazingly high” and certainly not “98%” in her success rate. Go away fraud!
The Fashion Show By: LynnNChicago
Oh My Gawd, the crying by this chick is ridiculous, I know the lack of sleep and emotional roller coaster must get to some people but this Dominique woman cried throughout the episode about the last person who was sent home. Did she not see that coming? This is how the show works, people go home, people win competitions, if no one leaves, no one can win in the end. If she’s there to win, everyone’s gotta go home at some point.
Tonight’s show featured the Real Housewives of Orange County and The Real Housewives of New Jersey, talk about the biggest nightmare for the designers, this was just cruel. Knowing the New Jersey ladies never pass up a chance to be on television, all four of the veteran housewives were present and accounted for. Jacqueline, Teresa, Dina and Caroline, were not only clients from hell but they were bossy, indecisive, rude and argumentative with their designers. Don’t these women know what the designers have to endure during this competition? Apparently not.
I can understand wanting to look good in the gown that was designed specifically for you but in the end, this is a competition for the fashion designers, why not let them do their thing and be judged, this is supposed to be part of the challenge. Tell the designer what you like and dislike, help them with some ideas and tips but in the end, the idea is to see how well the designer can please their client and make them look their very best.
On the other side of the room were the Real Housewives of Orange County, with a poor showing of real cast, we got past housewife, Laurie and her daughter Ashley fueling the rumors that Laurie is returning to the show this upcoming season. I really don’t know why Laurie left the show, she jumps at every chance to return during finale episodes and reunion filming’s and now we have not only Laurie but her daughter on The Fashion Show. Joining Laurie and her daughter are Lynne Curtain, another former housewife as rumor has it Lynne has been downgraded to a role similar to Lisa of Atlanta, the dreaded “part time” housewife.
Finally, we have Gretchen Rossi, the only one who can really call herself an Orange County Housewife at the moment.
More annoying clients as Gretchen announces that she is also a fashion designer and arrives complete with sketches of her work, again, not the idea of the show Gretchen!
In the case of Lynne Curtain, she had the designer completely re-work the design but in her defense, the original dress was hideous. The high neckline and long sleeves looked like a long sleeved t-shirt with a big skirt attached to it. This guy clearly didn’t listen to Curtain (or look at her outfit) during their initial consultation and to his credit, obviously doesn’t watch the show to see Lynne’s style. The designer went too far in accommodating Lynne, she mentioned that she jogs in midriff baring shirts and so rather than just changing the old fashioned neckline to give her the cleavage she wanted, he cut out areas just above her waist and made it look like a high school home economics project landing designer Jeffrey in the bottom two.
Teresa’s designer, Calvin actually made two dresses for Teresa to choose from, another kudoose (a nod to Ramona) to Calvin for not watching the shows, anyone who watches The Real Housewives of New Jersey would never give Teresa a choice. True to form she struggles to choose between the two gowns to the very end before finally deciding on the more conservative of the two, the one Caroline preferred. I personally preferred the other one but I was impressed that this guy slammed out two gowns while all of the other’s struggled to complete one dress.
I hated Jacqueline’s dress but it was her style on top, the rest of it looked like it was thrown together in just minutes, it was hard to believe that the designer spent any time at all on it. Luckily the New Jersey team won the challenge, had they not, I think this dress would have gotten Dominique sent home in more tears.
These Jersey housewives will never be able to be on television without mentioning Danielle Staub at least once. Leave it to Jacqueline to take a jab at Danielle when she’s not there, no one brought her up and Jac promised fans she would let it go. It was not to be, Jac just couldn’t resist a little “stripper” dig at Danielle on tonight’s show. Very disappointing and really made Jacqueline look like an ass.
The amount of time and effort put into Caroline’s dress was off the charts, her petite frame and coloring was clearly a challenge for the designer. With a little help from his friends, the end result looked pretty darn good but the original dress that Caroline tried on really did look like Peter Pan with the wings at the shoulders and back of this dress. Caroline was, in true Caroline fashion (no pun intended) a complete bitch. I don’t think she understood either that the whole idea was to allow the designers to put them in gowns that they thought looked good on their clients, the majority of the design ideas were supposed to be part of the competition. Caroline not only gave her own designer, David a hard time but had a complete bitch fest with Teresa’s designer, Calvin.
Finally, another ex-housewife Dina was featured, paired with talented designer Eduardo. He did a great job making Dina look good on the outside, nothing could improve her on the inside but she seemed to cooperate and allow the designer to do his thing. Maybe if the other ladies had done the same, they would have looked as good as Dina did in her gown proving once again that you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Eduardo won the challenge and he really did deserve to win this one.
The Orange County ladies were the losing team but not for lack of trying. They worked the runway and gave positive feedback to the judges on their designers and the work that they did. Unfortunately nothing could save that atrocious monstrosity that Ashley was sporting down the runway. Wow, even the lining was showing as the front of the dress jetted out well above her ankles. The top of the gown was likable enough with a corset having been inserted and the dress was time consuming and contained a lot of different elements, but in the end, it just didn’t work and made Ashley look like a huge hot air balloon.
Laurie was a good client and allowed the designer, Cindy to take the lead and create a gown that really looked good on Laurie. She definitely looked good and was the best of the worst on the losing team.
Gretchen’s gown just looked a bit cheap and when the designer failed to measure her correctly at their first meeting, the dress needed an extra piece of material sewn into the hip area of the dress making it look completely ridiculous and sending her designer, Golnessa home.
You can view the losing dress and hear the designer’s exit interview here:
Thank you to my Twitter friend @Abbysomething95 for sharing this link with me, its a bit old but I had not seen it before, its hysterical! I don’t know how I missed this the first time, maybe some of you have seen it already but its worth a 2nd look: Bonnie Hunt’s parody of The Real Housewives of Atlanta featuring Niecy Nash as NeNe Leakes:
I hope you’ll take a few minutes to take a look at my newest blogs on my Yahoo site:
Portrait of a Housewife NeNe Leakes @ http://look.ac/fZvbW9
Skating with the Stars Air Date December 13, 2010 @ http://look.ac/eEFt3c
Until Next Time….