IHJZ Guest Blog – QuincyIL
Patti treats us to another of her seminars to teach women how to find millionaires and love in NYC. She tells the women that they should not go here or here with finger gestures, but kissing is ok. She mentions President Clinton and tells the women that oral sex is sex.
We see the Statue of Liberty and pan to the front of Patty’s building. Inside the team discusses the two millionaires, Elaina and Matt. Both are seeking male partners.
Elaina is Russian, a mother of a 7 year old, her ex was a famous Russian businessman, and she wants sex in a relationship with an American man. Elaina has her green card and 15 million dollars. She just bought a house in the Hamptons. (Probably for cash.) She likes being busy, but we are not told what she is busy with.
She loves her son and wants him to learn how to play American football. Elaina is showing off her ample breasts which look natural. Dustin tells Elaina that his eyes are drawn to her breasts and not her face. Patti pulls down her own blouse to show her ample, natural breasts too. She puts her face into Elaina’s chest and pretends to talk to Elaina’s breasts. Elaina is told to cover up. Elaina wants a father who is also hot. Patti says that you can’t have both of these requests fulfilled in one man from NYC. Patti feels they have to soften the exterior and make Elaina more approachable.
Matt is the son of the physician who invented Dr. Siegel’s cookie diet. He is 47, very rich, very busy and a sexist who wants to have sex with young men. Patti mentions pedophile. Matt specifically says 23 to 33 years of age. Patti feels Matt is negative, cerebral, and dresses like his father. She is going to hire a stylist to help Matt “go from geek to chique.”
This part of the show was very confusing as all of the people being interviewed were men. Patti had to mention that the some men were gay constantly so we would know who she was looking at for Elaina and for Matt. There were 10 men, 5 for each millionaire.
Patti singled out a red headed gay man with a Mohawk, asked him if he was getting any dates and when he said, “All of the time,” she wanted to throw him out. She also asked him to dye his hair as she hates red heads. He refused. His name was Paul, but we will never see him again. For Matt, we have one young gay man, Jeffry who is age inappropriate as the test. Rhett is older, but he mentions Feris Beueller which is a movie Matt mentioned so Rhett is in.
For Elaina, we have a person from South America , Geronimowhen we are looking for Americans. Geronimo is in real estate and dances for women and cash 7 nights a week. We a farmer from Delaware who will move to NYC where there are lots of farms. We have a personal trainer with a great body.
Patti brings, Steve, a stylist to a store to meet with Matt. Steve dresses Matt in clothing that you see in NYC gay male night clubs. I know this because I watched “Sex and the City” on HBO. Black leather was Patti’s choice for Matt. He attempts to defend his own style but is lectured by Steve and Patti.
Each of the millionaires have a mini date with 5 men. Patti is showing a great deal of breast tissue during the mixer.
Elaina seems distant in her first few interviews so Dustin, a Gothic, has to step in and couch her to be more friendly and less Russian. Elaina listened to Patti and covered her ample breasts in a white smock. She is described as gorgeous and elegant.
Matt disobeys Patti and shows up a Liberache on steroids. It’s a shiny blue shirt with a busy pattern and eye glasses from the a bag that he dumped on the table.
Matt has “pissed off “ Patti. His initial dates fail and he is described as a “colossal asshole.”
Elaina decides to go out with Geronimo who is the male dancer and a motorcycle enthusiast. Elaina accepts the motorcycle pickup with good spirits. They go to a ceramics studio and make a pot similar to the movie, “Ghost.” The pot was actually good. Elaina’s favorite flower is the orchid and Geronimo has never thought of a flower before in his life so he has no favorite. After dinner, where the two just don’t click, Geronimo starts to shed his clothes and do his dance, but Elaina is embarrassed and leaves.
Matt picks Rhett who is age appropriate and very much like Matt. Rhett touches Matt and tries to make jokes when a famous chef tries to teach them how to cook. Matt is disgusted and shares that information with Rhett. Matt also mentions that he was sexually attracted to the younger man. Matt states that Rhett is sophomoric and vulgar. There is a verbal argument and Rhett throws water in Matt’s face. Matt is called “a WASPY CT Bitch” Matt leaves to pay for the dinner. The dinner was smoked salmon. Good job chef.
Elaina comes in and explains that this is not the man to be her son’s father. Patti uses this moment to tell her that she can’t have both a sex maniac and a son to her father. Patti and Elaina hug.
Rhett comes to meet with Patti and to confront Matt once again. Patti starts yelling. Matt starts yelling. Matt is the worst client Patti has ever had. He is thrown out.
Patti fails to make a match again. We lost count somewhere along the way, but after input from board members we are pretty sure that there has been zero success for Patti long term. She is welcome to correct our impression through twitter anytime.
Thank you, as always, Quincy for watching this horrible woman for all of us, her voice alone makes me physically ill. So Patti Stanger fails again, no surprise there, lets hope Bravo fails to renew this show for another season.
Great Job Quincy!
Until Next Time…