I Hate Jill Zarin The Real Housewives of New York – by Quincy IL
As we wait patiently for Bravo to air our beloved New York Housewives, we have our very own version of the unfolding storyline. In Quincy’s continuing drama, The Real Housewives attend a cocktail party and the drama never ends….
The Real Housewives of New York City Season Four Episode Three by Quincy IL
Thug in a Cocktail Dress
Sonja’s empty town house is filled with people. There are black and white photographs of African Children all over the home. There is a pianist playing softly in the background as women in cocktail dresses move from room to room greeting each other with double air kisses. Men receive air kisses from the women too. This is not Beverly Hills.
Alex is seated near the French doors to the second floor dining room where Jill Zarin is holding court with her “fabulous circle of friends.” Alex smiles at Simon, gets up and walks into the dining room. Jill is shocked that Alex McCord has come to Sonja Morgan’s fundraiser where their common employer is filming his employees. Jill Zarin jumps from her chair and rushes out of the door brushing against Alex as she makes her escape. Alex follows Jill down the stairs as Jill calls out, “Bobby, Bobby!” Jill finds her husband and falls into his arms. Alex follows Jill to the parlor and is about to speak to Jill Zarin when Bobby addresses her, “Alex, you are not the person that I thought you were. Step away and leave my beloved Jill Zarin alone.” Simon arrives and attempts to talk to Jill, but Bobby asks Simon to leave. Tears run downs Jill’s face. Sonja has now arrived and she asks Alex to please come with her. Alex is embarrassed and she tries to talk to Jill. Jill is now in a death wail as she convulses in anguish. The New York Socialites have formed a circle around Jill Zarin as they observe the theatrics. Jill sees Simon still standing near her and she faints. Bobby is able to hold her in his arms long enough to gently place her on the floor. Sonja is shocked. She asks a doctor who just happens to be at her party and who works for her employer to help Jill.
Sonja leads Alex to the front hall where Alex tries to explain that she just wanted to greet Jill as they have to work together five months a year. Sonja can not hear Alex speak as Jill is now awake and hysterically crying. Sonja asks Alex to leave her party as the event has been ruined. Alex tries to explain again, but Simon tells Alex it is time to leave. In the limo, Alex says, “Sonja is a thug in a cocktail dress” because Sonja has joined team Jill Zarin and Alex knows that her employer loves catchy phrases for his commercials.
Jill Zarin calls her “circle of friends” for a conference. Jill enters a small pantry with Sonja, Kelly, Ramona, the Countess, Bobby, and a member of the kitchen staff who was trying to get a silver tray when the ladies started to enter the tiny room. Jill Zarin tells Kelly and her fellow employees that Alex and Simon met with bad people from Chicago last summer after a book signing for their one star Amazon review parenting book and plotted to create “THAT blog.” Kelly twirls her hair with her fingers and looks down at the ground. Jill tells Kelly to pull up the front of her dress. Sonja, who actually pays attention to facts, tries to correct Jill on the timeline and the creation of that blog, but Kelly says, “Jill told me at the time so it is true.” Jill tells Sonja, Kelly, Ramona, the Countess, Bobby and the member of the kitchen staff who was trapped when they entered the small room that she had to cancel her twitter and facebook accounts for weeks because of Alex McCord. Jill Zarin said, “Alex hates me. I don’t think I can be on MY show because of Alex.” Ramona feels hot, confused, and she really doesn’t like the lighting in the small closet where the camera man is filming.
Sonja excuses herself because she is actually the hostess of this fundraiser and had duties to perform. Jill and Kelly remain in the closet after the others have gone. Jill whispers to Kelly and Kelly seems not to hear anything, she’s turned her down to a two. Bobby calls Jill out of the closet because he wants this evening to end. Jill and Bobby take Kelly home in their shiny, long, black limousine. Jill has more to share with Kelly on their way home. The limousine driver is secretly calling for the home addresses for Kelly Killoren Bensimon and Jill Zarin. The limousine dispatcher is using google.
Alex was in tears in the shiny, long, black limousine on that very long trip to the Brooklyn Brownstone with white bricks on the façade. Simon had given the driver his Brooklyn address and the driver is grateful that he does not have to secretly call his dispatcher for the address of another Bravo celebrity. Alex felt her livelihood was threatened once again. Alex calls a friend and puts her on a speaker phone. The friend listens and tells them that they have to understand how Jill Zarin thinks. They all agree. They will go to their college text books on psychology and look up projection. The friend contributes what she has learned about dealing with Jill Zarin from her many hours with a psychiatrist on her own break out television show. The plan has been created. Now, they would need a double agent to help them contact Jill Zarin. They all agree. Ramona will get a phone call from Alex. Simon keeps some thoughts to himself. He knows that there is one person with influence over Jill Zarin. He knows this person would like to live in peace and quiet. Simon will call that person in the morning.
In a small café in Brooklyn, nine members of “The Real Housewives” Production Company meet to discuss the footage that they have so far for Season Four. They are young so they decide that they will not think about the storyline until next Feb. right before the show is to begin airing. They order Skinny Girl Margaritas and lots of pretzels and decide to enjoy “Turtle Time.”
To Be Continued…
Fantastic job once again Quincy, I can’t wait to see what happens next…
Until Next Time…