I Hate Jill Zarin Million Dollar Listing & Housewives News
Million Dollar Listing Week Four By: Quincy
Josh Altman is getting dressed for his day in a dark blue suit, white shirt and purple paisley tie. He sends his mother a camera shot of his tie and she approves. Josh tells us that he is not a serial clubber but he is going to clubs to look for buyers and sellers. He meets an agent from the Santa Monica Mountains area at the club and agrees to share a listing for a house that Jimmy Hendricks wanted to purchase before he died. The Agent is Jimmy Quill and he represents older Hollywood and older rock stars. Josh A represents younger Hollywood and younger rocks Stars so it is a good match.
Madison is in Dr. Shaw’s Malibu beach home waiting for a bus load of Beverly Hills brokers to come to an open house with food and champagne. The house was originally listed for $5,695,000 and it is now listed for $5,555,000. Josh drops two watermelons and they break as he tries to prepare for the open house. His helper is late. Madison feels that sex and booze will sell the Malibu beach house.
Josh Flagg is on the bus heading to Malibu with his twin interns and the agent from the Encino house that they could not sell for Monet. Josh tells us that the bus is cramped, the people are drinking, there is motion and the brokers smell. Josh feels sick.
Josh A has traveled 45 minutes to Topania in the Santa Monica Mountains. Josh A has lost his cell phone service so he wants to quickly see the house and get back to civilization. The house has circular rooms, 3 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, 2 acres, a permit to have horses on the property, a sunken kitchen, but it is a time capsule stuck in the 1960s. The house has a round bed in the master and the closet doors have mirrors. No one has lived in the home for years. The agent with the listing thinks the house is worth $2,000,000. The owner fells the house is worth $2,200,000. Josh A thinks they will be lucky to find a buyer at $1,995,000. “It’s a fixer.” He suggests that “we get rid of it.” Josh’s assistant Mickey is acting goofy. Mickey knows the other agent, but Josh A remembers that they are being filmed.
The bus arrives from Beverly Hills and the agents attend the opening of Madison’s beach house. Madison is shocked that Josh Flagg can afford two assistants. Josh F allows the twins to do all of the work that he would normally do. Josh F learns the price of the beach house as he might have a client who wants a second home.
Josh F and the twins visit a home and he allows the twins to do all of the work while he sits in a chair, eats candy and reads a magazine. The twins do a great job. Josh feels this is a party house so he will invite the right people and have a party at night which is rare.Josh compliments his unpaid interns and says that they will one day be at his level.
Josh A is negotiating with the owner of the house with circular rooms. He is the bad cop. The house will sit for over 120 days with the price the owner would like, so Josh tried to make him agree to the lower price. The owner is unhappy, but he agrees and complains.The commission will be $49,875.
Madison is showing the Malibu beach house to a couple with a baby. The beach house will be their second home. There is some concern about a bathroom window, the safety of the deck for a baby, and the price of the house. The husband has cash for the house if the price is right and he shares that there is a tough market in Malibu.
Josh F throws an open house at night. He has been an agent in this market for 7 years. The twins set up the food and it looks great but Josh F notices that they put soy sauce in a caviar dish. The owners are Elizabeth and Farshid. They come to the open house after the guests have arrived. The twins are showing the house. Josh F has on a smoking jacket and he meets with guests. The view at night is great and the house shows well. Josh F arrives with his assistant Heather. Josh A arrives with his assistant, Mikey. Josh A notices that the other two agents have hot girls as assistants and he has Mickey. Heather and Josh A flirt. The other agents notice and tease the couple.
Josh A wants to sell the house with circular rooms in the Santa Monica Mountains, but he feels it will be difficult. He has an aging band member and his wife for a showing. The husband loves that Jimmy Hendricks wanted the house, but the wife says that it would cost $500,000 to bring it up to date. There is an avocado colored dishwasher and the sink is mustard yellow. The wife wishes the agents good luck in finding a buyer.
Madison has hired a masseur to give him a back rub at home on a table in his living room. He receives an offer on Dr. Shaw’s beach house from the couple with the baby, but it is very low. He calls the doctor and they will discuss it in the doctor’s office the next day.
The next day, Madison is in his office with Heather. He is teasing her, but she has a date with Josh A.
Josh F has a couple visiting a house for the second time at the party house. Elizabeth, the owner, wants to be there. The buyers have a property in Hawaii that they need to sell so they wish to lease. Elizabeth calls her husband who states that he needs $12,000 a month. The potential renters try to negotiate but then agree to the $12,000 and the owner has the right to show to a potential buyer. The commission on the lease is $14,400.
Josh A meets the Santa Monica Mountain agent at a cowboy bar. The agent is unhappy that Josh A is giving him a hard time about the house which is out of date. Josh A feels this house will be difficult to sell and that his time is valuable. They change their tactics and decide to look for people who want to have horses on their property rather than Hollywood stars or rock band members.
Madison is at Dr. Shaw’s office and he discovers that the doctor hasto get $5,300,000 or he won’t sell the home to the couple with the baby. Their offer is $5,100,000. Madison tries a creative ploy and tells them that $5,300,000 is the lowest his owner will go, but he will change a window that the couple doesn’t like in the master bath. They agree. The house was sold.
Thank you Quincy! Great job as always! L~
If you missed Luann from The Real Housewives of New York on Law and Order earlier this week, you weren’t alone. I didn’t see it but our friend Harvey did, here’s Harvey’s review:
So I see the red light on the DVR. Great – something taped. That’s rare these days – few shows worth watching, endless re-runs. What is it? A Law and Order. OK, L&O is usually my Ambien. I hear the doink doink and I’m asleep. And then…the horror. Within seconds, LuAnn is on my screen. Why, Lord, why have you sent me these plagues? She’s apparently a patron of the arts. She is at a showing of a supposedly edgy artist, and she runs into the room yelling Andreas, Andreas, where are you? It is a truly out-of-character role for LuAnn! – she is not wearing a one-shouldered dress – she’s really got to stretch as an actress in this gig. She drags the artist into another room to marvel at what she says is his best work. He tells her he doesn’t have any paintings other than those on display. She points to a white wall streaked with vertical red lines and says “this is it – this symbolizes the death of light, of hope, of white privilege – the red paint, it’s a primal scream of agony warning society to WAKE UP.” Can’t blame her for the inane dialogue, but oh darling…don’t quit that singing gig. Yes, her acting sucks more than her singing. Believe it or not.
Too bad there isn’t an autotune for acting.
As an aside, I would love to know how the blood from a gash to the throat – victim lying on her back in an apartment above manages to run down the wall below in a series of narrow lines across what looks like a five-foot expanse).
And warning – this episode is totally disgusting. And they managed to work in a totally irrelevant recent headline – an a-hole in NY who actually manipulated his google results by deliberately provoking complaints, harassing his customers, and even stalking them:http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/28/business/28borker.html?pagewanted=all).
As if that isn’t enough, LuAnn appears again a few scenes later. She’s now modeling for the artist, lying on a table, back to the camera, clutching a sheet to her apparently nude body. She sits up and delivers a few more lines of inane dialogue in a flat, wooden performance: “That’s what he told them. He’s all about the truth you know.” When asked to leave she says, “Sure. But don’t upset him and screw up his mojo.”
Thanks Harvey, so you didn’t like Luann in Law and Order, huh?
A few links for you today:
My latest Portrait of a Housewife with some surprising information about Ms. Jacqueline Laurita:
Portrait of a Housewife Jacqueline Laurita @ http://look.ac/hB0mzR
The Real reason Lisa Wu Hartwell was dumped from The Real Housewives of Atlanta?
For those of you still skeptical about a second season of the DC Housewives, Cat Ommanney once again has confirmed Bravo will take another chance on Cat and the DC ladies:
From the article:
And what about a second season? “Housewives” series set in other cities have typically rushed a second season onto the air within a year of the first. But Bravo has remained officially mum on the subject of the D.C. show, and there’s been no sign of any new episodes shooting yet.Ommanney believes she’ll be returning to your TV screen. “The long gap has made people think there won’t be one, but I’m quite confident that there will be a second season,”
Thanks to Quincy for this link about Ramona Singer and Kelly Bensimon’s homes in the Hamptons:
Details about Kelsey Grammer’s wedding:
Random Tweets from Jill Zarin:
@JillZarin to @bravoandy I am a little jealous that you rubbed Sharon’s feet today! I am really looking forward to reunion now. I will get good pedi for u
@JillZarin Can I be in LOVE with a website? Seriously? I am in love with new jillzarin.com. Please leave comments on blog there! I read them all!
Can I just say ewww and ewww! Anyone want to rub Jill’s feet?
As most of you know, Kelly spent a few hours in Haiti recently, in direct relation to the amount of time Kelly spent in Haiti, here is a 27 second You-Tube video. She’s very difficult to hear and the quality is poor. Don’t they know who she is? I don’t understand why they didn’t quiet down and stop walking in front of her so she could make her video.
Kelly Killoren Bensimon in Haiti for Generosity Water http://youtu.be/Z9IXCYQeo-I?a
Random Tweets from Kelly Bensimon:
@KellyBensimon: Wake up its time to go to Aspennnnnn
@KellyBesimon: Yuck. In london, you can buy breastmilk icecream. Really?? YUCK.
(Insert your own comment here.)
Simon VanKempen tweeted:
Asked when The Real Housewives of New York will air, Simon responded:
@SimonVankempen: As soon as #RHMIA finishes.
Simon clearly wasn’t all that impressed with The Real Housewives of Miami:
It’s official, Camille Grammer will not be around when Bravo’s cameras roll on Season Two of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Who will replace her? Rumors are recent guest on Watch What Happens Live, Denise Richards is interested. Charlie Sheen’s ex-wife and their two daughters could make an interesting addition to the show, or is that one too many Richards on the show? (Denise is NOT related to Kim and Kyle Richards)
Until Next Time….