First, a huge congratulations to Bethenny on the sale of the Skinnygirl Margarita brand to Beam Global Spirits!
This really highlights the difference between Bethenny – who really is doing all this to earn a living – and the other housewives, who are just playing at creating products. How likely is it that a year from now, Jill Zarin bedding – a vanity project funded by Bobby, no doubt using cheap Chinese labor – will still be on the market? Or Skweez – another cheap rip-off product – made where? Hmm. The website doesn’t say. It also doesn’t say where to buy … the store locator is “coming soon.” Great marketing program, Skweez. Or the pigeon-feather “joory” “created” by KellIcky BenNobody? Or Gretchen Christine Beauté (freaking stupid name) slap-a-label on cheap Chinese crap line of whatever? I think that Bethenny Frankel really saw a niche and jumped in at the right time and kadoooooooz to her! Oh, and double kadooooooz – the new book comes out tomorrow.
OK, now back to our regularly scheduled programming. I’ve been puzzling over why a woman who has control over her own show would let herself look as bad as she has in the first few episodes. Not horrible, but so not good. I personally thought that the dialogue(s) about the frequency of visits to Hazelton were healthy – four adults having a calm discussion. One nit to pick and that is that it should NOT have happened at Carol’s birthday dinner (LOVE YOU CAROL!). But otherwise, a healthy discussion. Better to talk it through than to let resentments fester, allow unrealistic expectations to build up, and so on. Nonetheless, Bethenny has not looked like a very nice person in the first few episodes. So here’s my conclusion – she is real. To borrow a word from KellIdiot, who has no idea what the word actually means, Bethenny is authentic. What you see is what you get. There is no pretense here.
Gotta get this out of my system upfront: AWWWWWWWW! That is one beautiful adorable baby.
I love the private interactions between Bethenny and Jason. I love that they laugh together about themselves and about their crazy life.
So the day starts with Jason giving Bryn her bottle and Bethenny fixing breakfast while Gina is in the bathroom for a half hour. They call to her and she appears, cell phone glued to her ear, claiming it was taking her that long to poop. Right. This leads to a discussion about baptism, which Jason wants. Gina wants to have the child blessed in her church; she has already planned it. With a red carpet. Dancing and manifesting of spirits. She demonstrates the dancing and Jason and Bryn join her – it is hysterical.
Next we have a visit from a baby-proofing expert. My husband insists on talking so I can’t hear what Bethenny is saying. I need a mute button for my husband. One thing this woman points out is that the kid watches everything you do and learns from watching you. So Bethenny shouldn’t climb up on the table. Baloney. My mother never climbed up on tables, but I did. Every kid does. It is just what kids do. It is clever to crawl around on the floor to see the world from the kid’s point of view. But bottom line – how did any of us ever survive childhood? And isn’t part of childhood being taught to recognize danger, rather than just shielding us from it?
Next seen – purging stuff to keep the house clean. Yes! This is me! I can relate to this. I love to pitch stuff. Hate accumulation. But I sure don’t have all those adorable tiny clothes. If I had clothes that tiny, I would keep them FOREVER. Why does she need someone to help her with this? Wait – need an AWWWWWWW break. The guy sitting on her bed yakking about what to purge – he is holding Bryn and Bryn is sweet and pretty and just AWWWWWW.
The yakking organizer guy cracks up about what Bethenny is donating to the church – all her sleazy lingerie. He says God is going to call Gina and tell her please don’t come back. OK, I guess you had to see it to understand why it is funny.
And here we are at Gina’s church. The church looks like a bail bonds office on the outside but inside it is filled with beautiful decorations and women are dressed in elaborate, colorful costumes with matching headwraps. Bryn is very happy and Bethenny says Bryn is speaking in tongues. They give Bethenny an orange and gold head wrap. Drumming starts. Bethenny has said that Gina fills the refrigerator with Trinidadian foods, so this must be a Trinidadian church. All of a sudden, Jason realizes this is a baptism and Jason is NOT OK with this. He wants Bryn baptized in his church. Gina had no right to do this. Bethenny admits that she had no boundaries and she’s been all “place of yes” about everything, but this is a NO. He tells Gina to stop and ask the priest to give the baby back, which he does, and they leave. Jason supports her decision. Learn and grow from this, Bethenny – some boundaries are good. You have a baby. You have to learn to make rules, you need to learn to set boundaries. Lack of boundaries and rules = raised by wolves. Like – no going to clubs at 14. Boundaries and rules. Kids need them. Kids who have parents who set boundaries and rules know their parents love them and care about them. They may not like the rules, but they know it means their parents care. Now, I just did you more good than that shrink ever did. So call me. We’ll talk. For free, bubbeleh. Julie knows how to reach me…
They get home and talk it out. Jason blames himself – he let them down, he didn’t stand up for them and stop something that made them uncomfortable. This is “Bethenny disease” – beat yourself up for everything. No, Jason. You had no way of knowing and were caught completely off-guard. They talk it out – and again, a healthy adult conversation that leads to Bethenny realizing that it really is important to Jason to have Bryn baptized, with their family and their friends present, with godparents, the whole megilla. Previously, she’d been resisting but now she agrees that they should do this. Learning, growing.
HALLOWEEN. Halloween with an adorable baby and a fun husband. This is Bethenny at her best, although she has to start with a nano-whine about Halloween being a burden on top of everything else. But then in the store, they have fun and try on all sorts of funny costumes. Bethenny wants couture clown, not the cheap stuff. They look hysterical. This is why I love this show. Happy, happy, Hoppy (sorry…couldn’t resist that one). Then they try panda costumes and lots and lots of awwwww. It is a family holiday and they should be a panda family.
Now it is time to have a conversation with Gina about the church thing. It is time to explain why they were uncomfortable. Finally. Setting boundaries. Gina does apologize but continues to say it is a blessing, not a baptism. Gina looks upset; they say all is back to normal. I say – Gina is NOT your family and it is time to say goodbye. Here’s the thing. Everyone (except the baby) remembers the baby nurse fondly, but the truth is that once they are gone, they are out of your lives. Period. And that’s how it should be. A baby nurse is not family. A baby nurse is an employee. And about that money being stolen by the ex-husband? Maybe true, maybe a ploy for sympathy and a few extra bucks? From people who are obviously accumulating some serious wealth fairly quickly…Sorry, Bethenny, you can hate me for saying this, but be careful, girl.
Bethenny talks it over with her therapist. She didn’t like having the baby passed around by strangers and being shaken and having the baby taken from her arms. She felt out of control. She did not feel protected by her mother but she talks about having been 18 and having had chicken pox and I high fever. Her friend’s mother took her to the hospital because her mother didn’t really notice that Bethenny was even sick. OK, but you were 18…did this kind of thing also happen when you were little and helpless? Where were you living at 18? Weren’t you already out of the house most of the time by then?
Now we are at Jason’s church and they talk to the priest. She talks about her religious background – father (Bobby Frankel) was Jewish and her mother converted when she married him, but Bethenny was sent to Catholic school because her stepfather (John Parisella) was Catholic, so she’s a religious mutt. Many people claim that she has rejected her Jewish background, but I doubt that it was an active decision. At a very young age, her religious upbringing changed from Jewish to Catholic, and based on what she has said about how she was raised, it is likely that no adult in her life actively encouraged any religious training or observed religious strictures in the home. My guess is she’s more like a religious blank. Just not part of her life.
More Gina. Jason is making tacos and he asks Gina if she wants hard tacos or soft. She says hard. Nothing should ever be soft. Jason comments that they have an inappropriate baby nurse, which is perfect for them, since everything about them is inappropriate. I am so over Gina. Time for Gina to go.
Julie’s new title is Coordinator of Chaos. Sometimes just saying it makes it so…stop thinking of your life as chaotic and inappropriate – as though you are proud of it. A nice conversation with Julie about the baptism and about godparents….Julie obviously loves Bryn and Bethenny asks Julie to be the godmother. Julie sniffles. So do I. Bethenny says that Bryn looks more like Julie than like Bethenny. Hmm. You know – she kind of does! LOVE JULIE!
Now we have four pandas in the SkinnyGirl VdubBug. How cute is this? Even daBooBoo is in a panda costume. They got o visit Sandy and Cori, Bethenny’s friends, and Sandy and Cori’s two teenagers. Cookie attacks their dog. Not nice, Cookie. Don’t be a bitch. Bethenny mentions moving to LA, but Jason notices how nice it is to live in the suburbs, with a lawn and a tennis court. Bethenny says they are just talking about moving to LA, and says that Jason said he loves the city. Jason admits that in the burbs, everyone is in your business. Not where I live! No one even says hello. Very unfriendly. Maybe that is just my town. They go out to trick-or-treat and they see teenagers flirting and decide that Bryn is going into a convent. Today. Maybe it is me, but I think this is a holiday when they should have gone to Hazelton for the day. Let Carol and Grandpa see Bryn’s first Halloween in those adorable costumes.
But then they go to Hazelton for the baptism, where the priest gets Bethenny’s name wrong. Nice. Uh oh. Here comes another AWWWWWWW moment. That is one adorable, beautiful baby. So I don’t know this religious stuff, but for some reason, they change her into this beautiful white dress after the baptism ceremony. Everyone is happy and they have a wonderful dinner party afterwards. Bethenny is sleeping and Bethenny shushes everyone but of course a second later they are all talking. Jason appreciates that Bethenny did this for him, and that it shows that she puts him and Bryn first. Bethenny says the christening was nice, sweet, and special. NO COMPLAINTS, NO WHINING. Learn, grow! A very nice way to end the show.
Namaste, girl, namaste. If you move to the burbs, move next door to me. No one will bother you here and I can babysit for Bryn. AWWWWWWWW.
Thank you to my anonymous friend for stepping in to blog the show for me, I really appreciate it! Lynn~
Until Next Time…