The Real Housewives of New York City
Blog on the Prairie by Quincy IL
I love the term “pecking order.” It reminds me of a bunch of hens fighting out in the roost. The term “peck order” refers to the expression of dominance in birds. It was originally described in a German Article by Schjekderup-Ebbe . The author noted that “defense and aggression in the hen is accomplished with the beak.
“The Real Housewives of New York City” express their dominance by pecking each other’s eyes out in interviews filmed by Bravo producers for their reality show. Dominance in New York City Real Housewives is expressed in various behaviors:
- I will not film with her.
- I will set her straight.
- It is all about me.
- If you don’t support me, I won’t support you.
- I am the victim.
- You are the bully.
- You are not my equal.
- You are not my friend.
- Not here, not now.
- It’s never about what it’s about.
“I will not film with her. “ This is a behind the scenes fight that was brought to our attention in the Season Three Reunion show by Bethenny. This battle has been going on for years, but we did not know. Jill called Ramona and Alex asking them not to film with Bethenny. Jill denied this at first and then apologized after Ramona and Alex confirmed Bethenny’s statement.
We watched Kelly receive an email from Jill which Kelly read on TV because a little bird (Ramona) had told Jill that Kelly and Bethenny had come to an agreement while picking out the designer for the Brooklyn Fashion show. Although cryptic, Jill was telling Kelly that she knew she had broken a promise to Jill. Luann must have gotten the message and agreed with the messenger because she was as quick to leave a booth as Jill when Bethenny arrived on the night that Bethenny/Jason engagement was announced. Luann was miserable when Bethenny showed up at a fashion show and not filming with Bethenny was a part of that equation.
Luann told us that at one time or another everyone has said that they should not film with someone. Bethenny immediately copped to the crime and stated that she did not want to film with Kelly. Ramona didn’t want to film with Alex and Simon for all of Season One and Season Two. In the Fourth Season, Kelly will not film with Ramona.
Not filming with someone makes that person less likely in the scenes of the show and all of the women know this.
“I will set her straight.” Luann is the recipient of the award for the housewife most likely to lecture another housewife and walk away. Luann will drive across the street after demanding that Bethenny drive 3 hours for a sit down and tell Bethenny that she is not allowed to criticize Luann ever. Luann will pull Alex aside and ask her, “Who made you God?” Amazingly, Kelly came in as a close second in this race. The first lunch on the yacht off St. Johns is an example of Kelly telling the women who and what they are allowed to discuss in front of her. Jill has corrected Kelly and then proceeded to use the word “like” that she asked Kelly not to use. Who can forget, “Zip it!”? That was a true break through moment.
The other housewives react poorly to being disciplined by Luann and Kelly, of course. Kelly did not react to Jill’s comments because she wasn’t paying attention to Jill at that time. In fact, Kelly never pays attention to what Jill says.
“It’s all about me.” The Sonja Morgan March Day was a recent example of this form of dominance. She would not allow Simon or Alex to take away from her event, but there have been other examples in the past. The Season Two finale featuring Jill Zarin at a Charity event was an “all about me moment.” Ramona’s celebration of 17 years was her moment in the sun at the end of Season Three. Apparently, losing your notes is a part of these events because all three women lost their notes before they spoke. Kelly has had her “all about me” events too. Unfortunately, Kelly missed some of those moments. The ladies had gone when she arrive at the Halloween Party in her bunny outfit. She was disappointed that they were waiting for her.
“If you don’t support me, I won’t support you.” Ramona texted this “threat” to Kelly, but I’m sure that others have gotten those email and texts before. The premier events for the past three seasons have been battles for who will go to what party. Poor Andy Cohen has to go and drink at everyone’s party and he wishes they would all just get along. Ramona asked Jill why should would represent the Kodak Company on film. Jill paid Ramona back at the next event. Sometimes, it would be better if they refused to film with each other. Ramona rallied the troups to attend Cindy’s birthday party, but I suspect she will not do that now that Cindy refuses to serve pinto grigio at her events.
“I am the victim.” You would think this award would go to Jill Zarin for her performance throughout Season Three as she battled Bobby’s cancer, Bethenny’s betrayal, and Alex’s messages; but Kelly’s ability to break through, call people bullies, and continue that fight into Season Four helped her win by a slim margin. Sonja tried to be a victim of Simon’s size and loud voice, but Alex nipped that in the bud and stopped that nonsense with an agreement to move forward with their friendship.
“You are the bully.” This is a toss-up. Jill and Kelly have joined forced to make us doubt our own eyes and ears when it comes to what we watched week after week during Ramona’s renewal on St. Johns. Jill has attempted to make us believe that Alex is a force to be reckoned with, but she is going to have to work a lot harder on that project. Kelly, on the other hand, is doing a really good job at shunning Ramona for inviting Kelly to Scary Island. We will see if the Sonja Morgan Armistice holds next week. Ramona is very wary of what is happening behind the scenes with Jill and Kelly.
“You are not my equal.” Our cup runneth over with housewives who share this form of dominance. Jill Zarin shared that Alex was at a wedding above her social station. Luann, who has a courtesy title from an ex-husband, made sure all servants knew they were not on her level, but she also let her fellow housewives know that she was above them from day one. Asking your fellow housewives to address you as Countess, is a way of telling them that they are not your equal. You have a title and they do not. Kelly told Bethenny she was not her equal in the infamous, “I am up here and you are down there” moment. Sonja told Cindy about pecking order at a formal tea served by a houseboy who is not allowed to dance. Ramona let Cindy know that she better have the pinot grigio glass in her hand when Ramona walks in the door.
“You are not my friend.” Jill Zarin wins this award. Whenever there is a confrontation, Jill Zarin says, “You are not my friend.” Recently, Kelly has shared that she will never be friends with Ramona. Sonja let Cindy know that they aren’t going to be friends because Cindy told Kelly Sonja’s plan to get Kelly and Ramona together. Alex also shares that she will never be friends with Jill Zarin. Cindy thinks she was never really Ramona’s friend. Luann never says this statement, but we all know that she is not friends with any of these women. She only shares this information in interviews with us.
“Not here, not now.” You might think that this is a new form of dominance invented by Cindy who does not want Ramona to confront her brother on national TV because she promised him that being on a reality show would not embarrass the family, but we actually have seen this many times with Jill. Jill likes to quickly dismiss Alex and make a joke. She has done it for several years and that is why Alex has become so frustrated. Luann has controlled the topic of conversation on many occasions. She is quick to end discussion of marital infidelity when she sees it’s her turn to speak. In Season Two Kelly’s response to a question that she feels is inappropriate was to tune out, but lately she lashes out and reminds everyone that she is the victim of Scary Island. Sonja tried to pull this one on Alex at the Sonja’s painting event, but Alex chased her from room to room refusing to obey. Alex started chasing people from room to room during the hives outbreak of Season Three.
“It’s never about what it’s about.” Bethenny told us this secret. All of the housewives on all of the shows try to hide what their real agendas are. Of “The Real Housewives of New York City,” Alex is the most honest with her agenda. She shares that she wants to make money, wants to be seen in the newspaper and wants to be a part of this society in NYC. The other women are on the show to sell their products and make money too, but for some reason they resent Alex’s attempt to find success. It doesn’t surprise me that Jill, Luann, Sonja and Kelly feel this way. They all married for money. Their status is because of a man chose them for a period of time in his life. They all are afraid to be on their own and that is the secret that keeps them from being happy with their own lives. The only way they feel they can keep their position is by forcing others to be below them. In the hen house, we call that “ pecking order.”
Information Researched by the IHJZ commenters
There was a discussion of the weird scenes in Alex’s home where she held Francois tightly in her arms and asked him to look her in the eyes. After two days of speculation, Alex McCord confirmed that her son was pushing away a sound boom. In her bravotv.com blog, Alex said that she should have stopped the filming as her sons were exhausted from a special birthday adventure and shocked to find a piano and a new person in their dining room.
- housewifeaddict says:
Quincy – your theory is confirmed:
mccordalex Alex McCord
@________ nope not at all, he didn’t want to film that day and was swatting at the boom microphone.
- housewifeaddict says:
It was in answer to this tweet:
Just watched the latest episode of #RHONY & I’m really confused now @SimonvanKempen @mccordalex is their oldest son autistic?
Not long ago I speculated that there were two apartments above Simon and Alex’s home in their Brownstone with a white brick façade in Brooklyn. My guess was correct again. I have to buy a lottery ticket.
- housewifeaddict says:
Here is the answer from Simon on their home: (I was sure I saw stairs in the background). Looks like they own the whole thing – and he mentioned in another tweet that they invested $650,000 in the renovation.
@SimonvanKempen – Does the brownstone u live in have more than 1home in it?
Yes we live on 3 flrs 3,000 sqft & rent out 2 flrs RT @——-:
PS – Simon is losing his patience on the Francois thing – people are being pretty relentless. He also confirmed that Francois was looking at the mike boon.
I will say this – Simon doesn’t seem to block people, he just answers them one by one. I respect that.
I don’t visit other blogs. Are they all discussing the piano scene or is Simon reacting to the discussion on this board that we know he reads? Bells went off when we watched that interchange between mother and child. Bravo put that scene in their reality show and they mislead us if we went astray. Simon and Alex should understand that we can only react to what we observe and we use own life experiences to help us understand. This is normal Human behavior.
Everyone on the board has a clean slate this morning in celebration of Mother’s Day. Now that Simon and Alex have confirmed the sound boom theory, we know what really happened that day.
Alex described Francois School and it sounds like a NYC school for gifted children.
- housewifeaddict says:
After reading Simon’s blog, I think Francois has been admitted to NY’s newest elementary school for the gifted.
It completely fits the way Simon described it, as a city-wide school that currently goes to 2nd grade, and will go through 8th eventually. It looks like it opened last year 2009/10 – so they were lucky to be able to transfer in. Kids have to test well, and then there is a lottery.
Our own HD met Vicki Gunvalson at a book singing near Louisville, Kentucky. Vicki gave HD a hug and told her to watch tonight as this is the episode that will bring tears to our eyes. My prediction is that Vicki and Don will decide to divorce in this episode. They were still living together according to online articles and their home is for sale.
Simon van Kempen and Quincy IL are competing to see who can write the most words on a 3.23 minute video. Simon won this week.
He included a link to the video. I would enjoy reading Simon’s opinion of pecking order and the housewives that he knows well
Tonight I will be watching “Mob Wives” and” The Celebrity Apprentice.” Lynn will blog “The Real Housewives of Orange County” and WWHL. Lynn has been celebrating with family, but she will be back soon.
Happy Mother’s Day! Feel free to dispute the pecking order blog. Everything on this board is opinion and we can all agree to disagree. BTW, Lynn is going to be shocked that I inserted a photo. I am shocked too. rotfl,
PS, Lynn’s friend real city housewife/reality crack house did a blog on pecking order too. She has a lot of photos and a poll. We will steal her results later in the day. LOL