Real Housewives of New York May 18, 2011
Desperation, Luann deLesseps is desperate, she is desperate for air time, desperate to remain relevant and desperate to have a story to air on The Real Housewives of New York. Why though, is Luann jumping in front of Jill and taking a bullet for her? Is this a deal they made? Maybe Lulu stays in Jill’s guest room when she’s in New York and this is her rent. Jill and Luann have a deal, in exchange for room and board (or bored in Luann’s case) she’s going to be the number one mean girl this season to take the heat off of Jill.
Tonight Luann really stirred the pot, it is irritating that Bravo chose Luann to play hostess of the trip to Morocco, it is already clear that she’s going to try to take over this entire trip and if it is possible she will act even more pompous than she already does. Luann is apparently the only one of the ladies who had been to Morocco before so she will act superior and bossy, oh wait, she does that in New York too. I was really looking forward to seeing the New York housewives in Morocco and I just know Luann is going to ruin this trip for me, I can just see it coming.
Luann starts out by giving Ramona a lecture and telling her that she cheapened her party by having it out with Jill. Luann doesn’t have any idea what happened, she has no clue what she’s talking about yet she pretends to want everyone to get along but it is Luann who causes most of the drama. We’ve seen Ramona and Jill get into it for three seasons now and as far as Ramona is concerned, they always get over it. How many times have we heard Ramona say that she and Jill fight but they’ll always make up and they’ll always be friends. Unfortunately Jill doesn’t work that way, she has always bashed Ramona behind her back.
I don’t think anyone believes for one second that Luann gives a damn about Jill Zarin. Luann simply wants to get in everyone’s face and give them advice and play it all off as if she’s trying to make peace among the group. What she’s actually doing is just trying to get her face on screen. Hopefully we’ve seen the last of her boyfriend as his sickening love for Luann makes me sick to my stomach.
Kelly Bensimon is the biggest moron on the face of the earth. Ok, I know that you all already knew that but she just keeps on proving it. First of all Kelly, Sonja is NOT selling toaster ovens you idiot! Freaking out about seeing Sonja’s private parts for a split second just proves that Kelly has really deep seeded serious problems. Honestly, this is concerning. Even the brunettes thought Kelly was strange for being so sheltered. This woman is not a teenager, even though she acts like one. She was a model, she posed topless for Playboy (many years ago) and she’s telling us she’s never seen another woman’s vagina. She appeared in a magazine that she’s never opened? Why is this a big deal? Kelly’s reaction to that split second was exactly that of a 13 year old kid.
The big revelation that Kelly told Luann was that a man slapped her once. This was later referred to as abuse. I’m confused. Kelly never said that she was abused, that she lived with or dated a man who beat her. She literally said that a man slapped her once. Luann took this to a whole new level. We know that Kelly was accused of punching a boyfriend, in fact she was arrested for battery. If Kelly was in an abusive relationship then I can understand why it was a dramatic moment but that isn’t what she said. One man slapping her across the face is unforgivable and completely wrong but is it an event that causes emotional scars and a lifetime of not trusting men? Is this a stunt that they came up with to try to explain some of Kelly’s strange behavior?
Kelly tells the brunettes that she is not going on the trip to Morocco, it was really idiotic for several reasons, first we already know that Kelly does go on the trip. It was clear to me that Kelly was simply trying to get attention and she wanted everyone to beg her to go on the trip. I really wish Luann had just said, “ok, you don’t want to go, that’s fine, we’ll go without you”. But that wasn’t in the script.
Luann called Cindy, who didn’t hesitate to leave her business and her twin daughters to travel with women she barely knows and in some cases doesn’t care for. Luann asked Jill and she asked Bobby if it was ok for her to go? We all know that was a load of bullshit, Jill doesn’t ask permission to do anything. I’m sure Bobby was secretly thrilled to get rid of his wife for a week. Kelly’s response was “I’ll think about it” and her sole reason for hesitating was Ramona Singer? Why is Kelly so afraid of Ramona? Kelly beat the hell out of an ex-boyfriend, I think she could take Ramona out if it comes down to it. When last Ramona and Kelly talked, we watched them clear the air and Ramona even apologized for the “drunk text”. Kelly’s drama is just ridiculous! Bravo will force her to go on the trip again and Andy Cohen will deny it at the reunion.
Sonja calls the blondes and Alex is in but Ramona is worried because Morocco is a third world country and she may not come back….ok Ramona.
It was interesting to see Sonja getting ready for her photo shoot for me, mainly because her stylist David Evangelista was doing her hair and this was the day that Sonja gave me an interview while David was doing her hair, David even spoke to me on the phone for a few minutes. Obviously the interview portion was cut out of the scene that they aired but it was fun to watch… Until Kelly arrived, Sonja invited Kelly because she was a model and thought it would be nice to invite her, unfortunately Kelly was a bitch and rather than giving her opinions she kept talking about why the toaster oven wasn’t in the shot and several times mentioned that Sonja is trying to sell toaster ovens, it is a cookbook Kelly…you moron!
Cindy invites the brunettes to Canyon Ranch and tells us that she invited Jill, Kelly and Luann because they have fun together and all get along well. She goes on to make fun of Kelly for being embarrassed about saying the word “vagina”. Cindy says she didn’t invite Ramona, Alex or Sonja simply because she didn’t want to. I get why she didn’t want to include Sonja and Ramona as she had recently had it out with both of them but why did she exclude Alex McCord? Simply because Alex has blonde hair?
Six hours in a van and the brunettes arrive at Canyon Ranch, Cindy has gifts waiting for the ladies as they check in and Jill opens the gift to find a monogramed fluffy robe, Cindy seems happy to see Jill’s reaction and it was finally a nice moment for the brunettes but Luann manages to ruin that too by telling us that it is simply not good manners to open the gift in a hotel lobby. I wonder if that is in her book, admittedly I didn’t read Luann’s book but we know Jill has it by the bedside in her guest room so Jill should have known that Lulu wouldn’t approve of her opening the gift right there in the hotel lobby. Luann seems to look for one manners tip per episode as a public service to viewers, I think we should all send Luann a thank you email because without Luann’s tips we’d all be opening gifts in hotel lobbies and sticking our nose into everyone’s business….Oops. Personally I think that Cindy appreciated Jill opening it and enjoyed watching her excitement over the gift. Luann has no idea what she’s talking about.
The brunettes at the Spa go into some bongo drum therapy and as always the classless Jill won’t stop talking long enough for the instructor to speak, you really can’t take this woman anywhere. They all act like idiots and when they’re each asked to reveal a secret about themselves we learn that Luann wears large ugly jewelry, nothing new there. Kelly is obsessed with smells. No comment. Jill reveals her red hair is fake, she is really mousy brown with a touch of grey. Another really waste of breath since we all already knew that as well. Cindy, who is wearing wool fingerless gloves for an unexplained reason, tells us that she’s not as tough as she appears. Her wardrobe aside I never mistook Cindy as tough but Jill wasn’t satisfied with Cindy’s revelation, Jill wanted Cindy to admit that her teeth were fake, where was Luann with her etiquette lesson for that one? Jill doesn’t get to decide what Cindy reveals, no one forced Jill to reveal that she’s the ultimate bitch.
This episode ends as Jill Zarin hosts a fundraiser. The fundraiser was $200 per person and according to Jill was an “Anti-bullying” fundraiser. There was no specific charity mentioned and no explanation as to where the money was going and what exactly the fundraiser was supporting. Did this benefit the Zarin Family Trust?
More Ramona Pinot confusion as Jill tells us that she asked Ramona to bring a case of her wine to be auctioned off but Ramona thought it was to be served at the fundraiser. If there was an auction at the fundraiser, we didn’t see one but Ramona was sure that the wine got opened and served. Alex arrived early to help Jill along with Jill’s daughter Ally to prepare the gift bags, unfortunately guests all received a CD of Luann’s song but they can always use it as a Frisbee so all is not lost.
Bravo has more fun with editing as Ramona arrives and appears to say “Hi” to Jill several times as Jill ignores her and continues to smile for the camera. Jill and Ramona agree to talk on the trip to Morocco to clear the air, previews show us that doesn’t go well, more on that next week.
Luann is sure to spank Ramona some more for not calling Jill to get together but more importantly Luann had to get on camera attacking Ramona about the designer issue. Apparently Ramona has a favorite designer and has asked that he dress her exclusively for the show. I can see why Ramona would want to keep her favorite designer to herself, there are plenty of designers out there that are anxious to provide the housewives with clothes to wear on the show, Lulu needs to find her own.
Ramona explained that Luann always used Ungaro in the past and hinted that maybe Luann blew that connection somehow. If Luann is subscribing to the Jill Zarin school of not returning clothing that is borrowed or buying something, wearing it and then returning it, that would explain the problem. I was actually pretty impressed that this designer who works with Ramona would refuse to provide Lulu with clothing just because Ramona asked them to keep it exclusive. Someone said No to the Countess? Yeah!
I was also impressed that Alex told Luann to her face that she brought the negativity to Jill’s fundraiser, it was absolutely true. Luann just wouldn’t let up, she refused to let things rest and insisted on lecturing Ramona. More air time for Luann.
Finally we learn who the Thug In A Cocktail Dress is, Luann, very fitting! Luann just insists on getting involved in things that simply don’t concern her.
Completely oblivious to all that is going on around her, Kelly announces out of nowhere that she’s decided that she will go on the trip to Morocco. Suddenly Kelly decides that no one will stop her from seeing Morocco. Very anti-climactic Kelly, no one gives a damn.
The evening ends as Jill’s stepdaughter makes a speech, she explains how her birthmark on her face caused kids at school to make fun of her. The camera moves over to Ramona who appears to be pouring wine as she talks. I don’t trust Bravo anymore, I would bet anything that Ramona wasn’t pouring that wine during the speech, it could have been edited in that way. Jill’s stepdaughter explains that kids would tell her that they would be her friend if you didn’t have a birthmark she went on to ssay that she remembers going to bed and hoping she didn’t wake up. I think everyone was touched by that moment. Later Ramona says to Jill that because of her inner confidence, you didn’t notice her face is deformed. Jill is going to twist it into something sinister and maybe Ramona chose the wrong word, “deformed” but it was clear that Ramona didn’t mean it as anything negative.
There is no doubt in my mind that Jill had a plan for this season and we’ll have to see how it plays out but she is clearly painting Ramona as an alcoholic and herself as the victim of Ramona tongue lashings, Jill has recruited Luann as she did last season to attack Bethenny. Kelly does whatever Jill tells her to do, we watched Jill whispering instructions to Kelly at last season’s reunion. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jill told Kelly to announce that she was once slapped in the face to get sympathy. Why hadn’t Kelly mentioned this before? Even while she was being accused of beating up her boyfriend, still Kelly didn’t reveal anything about a man ever touching her.
Previews show us that the next three weeks will be the trip to Morocco, can’t wait!
Watch What Happens Live with Gail King
Who knew that Gail King watched Bravo and the Real Housewives? Clearly she does but she told us that Oprah doesn’t. Is it just me or is Gail looking more like Oprah every time I see her. They say husbands and wives begin to look like each other after many years together….just sayin….
As the opening music played we could hear Gail King say, “what are we going to talk about?” Oops…
Gail was fully prepared to talk about the Housewives and discuss the show with great insight, she’s not fake or phony, she really does know the show. Gail found it odd as we all did that as Kelly revealed to Luann that she had been slapped in the face once by a man the two ding bats in the back seat seemed to ignore the whole situation. Even if they had not heard Kelly’s revelation, wouldn’t they question why the two ladies were crying and hugging the way that they were? Isn’t it in Jill’s DNA to ask, “what’s going on?”
Thank you Gail for having the guts to admit what we all were thinking, Luann definitely stirred the pot and was causing problems tonight. This is Luann’s “thing”, it is what she does, it is who she is.
Gail did agree that Oprah would never deny a designer to provide clothing for another, as Gail added, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and Ramona should be flattered that LuLu wants to dress like her. Let’s face it between the one shoulder numbers and the big ugly jewelry, Luann needs all the help she can get.
Tonight’s poll question, whose side are you on the Blondes or the Brunettes? We had a tough time getting an answer from Gail but I think in the end she agreed with the final viewer results and chose the Blondes. They took 52% of the vote, close but the clear winner is Alex, Sonja and Ramona. Jill is fooling some people but not all of them.
Gail is fascinated and appalled at the same time. I know how you feel Ms. Gail!
Andy continues to be obsessed, here’s his list for tonight…
- Jill wanted to do something to end bullying, and at the event to raise money to end bullying, there was a whole lot of bullying going on, particularly from her bestie Luann.
- Obviously Andy had to mention Sonja’s lack of panties during her photo shoot and her flashing her vagina, he really had nothing to add, he just wanted to mention it.
- Finally Andy shared with us an old photograph of Gail and Oprah before they had stylists and then superimposed himself into the photo.
Andy asked Gail what she thought of the former California Governor Arnold Schwartznager news. As she mentioned the story broke when Maria came to do the taping with Oprah at the United Center in Chicago. There was apparently some speculation that Maria wouldn’t show up but she sure did show up and she made an amazing speech about Oprah. Gail talked a little about Oprah’s show at the United Center, I was hoping to hear more backstage news. Gail said that Steadman will be her guest after the final Oprah airs. An interview that would be a big deal for anyone else is most likely just another day for Gail with her bestie and her boyfriend. I was surprised to hear Gail’s favorite moment was Dakota Fanning. I honestly thought that was a bit contrived and scripted. I adore Oprah and she has definitely changed many people’s lives but this seemed a bit over the top to me, you can decide for yourselves when you see it on her show next week.
Andy played a short scene from Gail’s talk show with Nick Cannon as her guest, he told us that his wife, Mariah Carey insisted on her songs being played as she gave birth, Andy found that amusing.
Gail also agreed that Luann was over the top and WRONG about her idiotic mention of Jill opening her gift in the hotel lobby. Absolutely not even worth mentioning. Gail said she didn’t think it was a bad offense either.
My favorite part of the interview had to be when Gail was asked if Luann was a trouble maker and she looked directly at the camera and said – YES! I do!
Tonight’s Game time was a good one for Oprah fans, Andy asked Gail about different things and Gail was to reveal if Oprah would or wouldn’t be a part of that:
Pump her own gas – no
Enjoy an adult film – no
Chow on a Big Mac – yes (stipulated a good burger, not necessarily a Big Mac)
Pop a zit for you? (her best friend) Gail replied, Yes but wouldn’t ask her to
Swear like a sailor – yes
Be Hungover – yes Oprah enjoys tequila now and then
Chew gum – no doesn’t like gum chewing at all
Stand in line at the DMV – yes
Watch Reality tv – no
Get Waxed – yes
Gail talked about Oprah’s final show to be taped in complete secrecy at Harpo Studios, Andy tried to get information on the final guest and Gail only told viewers that the final details are still being discussed. Rumor has it that John Travolta will be one of the final guests but as Gail noted, does she really need a final guest?
Gail talked a bit about the Real Housewives of New York, she told us of her meeting with Kelly in the Hamptons and told her to just be herself, Gail said that she thought some of these women were playing to the camera and it isn’t pretty. I thought that was excellent since it is always Kelly who is accusing the others of playing to the camera and Gail told Kelly to stop doing that.
Kelly is so contradictory, she will tell us that this is her, raw and real then she will tell us that she’s making good television and she will imply that it isn’t real, it is just about creating drama for television. I think this is what Ms. Gail was trying to get across to Kelly, not even Oprah’s best friend can fix Kelly Bensimon. We applaud you for trying though Gail.
This Sunday Gretchen will sing and the host of the new Bravo show, former American Idol judge Kara Deguardia will be Andy’s guests
On a special WWHL on Monday from The Real Housewives of New Jersey – Teresa and Jacqueline (I hope Andy gets combat pay for this one)
Finally on Thursday Ramona will be a guest on Watch What Happens Live.
Until Next Time…