I Hate Jill Zarin and Luann…oh and Kelly… In order for me to be authentic, I will have to take a bit more time to write my blog on The Real Housewives of New York. I had some other plans and wasn’t able to watch until the third or forth showing so I’ll get my blog on the show done for tomorrow’s blog but Quincy was kind enough to write tonight’s blog on the New York psychos. Thanks to everyone for your unending support of both Quincy and me. My blog will be posted tomorrow, in the meantime please enjoy Quincy’s …
The Real Housewives of New York City in Marrakesh
Dance of the Seven Veils by Quincy IL
“She didn’t own it!” That was the sin of Ramona Singer.
Jill Zarin fled Ramona’s red room in the riad with the comment, “We are never going to be friends.” She attempts to locate Cindy Barshop and she is not going out to have fun this evening in the Medina. Luann comes to room and immediately hugs her friend, Jill. Jill shares, “She came in like a hurricane and destroyed the place.” Jill is crying just like she cried in the limousine in New York City. Jill and Ramona have locked horns again.
Luann is there to support and comfort Jill as usual. Jill downloads all of her frustrations onto Luann. Luann says, “The things that just fall out of her mouth….no amends…no apologies.”
Jill proclaims, “I am never going to cry over Ramona Singer again.” Kelly and Cindy have arrived and they are concerned for their friend, Jill. Jill shares the details of the planned confrontation with Ramona while the three companions sympathize and stir the pot.
Kelly says in an interview that Jill is never going to have satisfaction from Ramona.
Cindy says this is “not working for you.”
Jill says, “I will never take that again. Nobody will ever treat me that way. Ramona’s crime was that she refused to say she was sorry that she sent Jill Zarin away from the mansion in St. John’s and ruined the possibility of Jill Zarin having a friendship with Bethenny Frankel forever.
Luann says, “I will not allow it. I won’t!” Luann leaves to find Ramona. The women knew what Jill demanded from Ramona before the confrontation. Jill Zarin does not go to war without a battle plan. The plan was to confront Ramona Singer and make her apologize for making Jill Zarin walk the plank in St. Johns a year ago. The plan was for Ramona Singer to take responsibility for the failed relationship of Jill and Bethenny.
Earlier this season, Luann had met with Ramona twice to attempt to intervene on the behalf of Jill Zarin. She admonished Ramona at a luncheon that the two shared in Manhattan and she admonished Ramona at a Jill’s bullying fundraiser. Luann was going to make sure that Ramona Singer knew her place this time when she left Jill in the care of Cindy and Kelly. Marrakesh was Luann’s trip and Ramona was going to walk the plank.
Ramona found Alex and Sonja in the salon and sat next to Alex on the settee. Quietly, Ramona asked Alex for her help. Alex said, “Honey, what happened? Alex put her arms around Ramona as Ramona was visibly shaken from the encounter with the angry Jill Zarin. They heard Luann coming and Ramona knew she was coming with a message from Jill Zarin. Ramona was shaking like a palm leaf.
The first words out of Luann’s mouth were, “Why are you causing problems?”
Ramona told Alex, “She’s attacking me again.” Alex stayed close to Ramona and Sonja was close by to help if it was needed. Ramona asked for pinot grigio to calm her nerves. Everyone wanted to comply with that meek request.
Luann went to the bar to open a bottle and Sonja asked Luann if they could do it in the kitchen because she wanted to protect the distraught Ramona from the Luann’s wrath.
In an interview, Alex suggested that Luann might be there to throw the Christians to the Lions. Alex had dressed as a lion tamer on the camel rider earlier according to Luann. Alex had good reasons to dress like that. Alex has been with Luann and Jill for four years now.
Ramona told Alex, “I was coming from a good place, but she did not listen. I felt she was aggressive. I wish I never did it.”
Luann shared that Jill had downloaded on her and went away. Jill releases her emotions on those who will listen. Some have empathy like Luann so Jill’s feelings become Luann’s marching orders.
Kelly arrived and amazingly comforts Ramona. She tells Ramona that she refuses to take sides. Kelly states that Ramona and Jill have to agree to disagree. Ramona is relieved that the group isn’t going to come down on her head with the force of the Berbers. Ramona and Kelly hug. There will be no sides in this Riad. They can go out and have Turtle Time. Ramona knows how to vacation in the Desert and on the Sea.
(Does anyone remember that they are being filmed by cameramen for a reality show? When they watch the show with us, do they question the validity of their statements to each other and in the interviews? Is it possible that Kelly believes that she did not take Jill’s side when she was in the room with Jill and in the interviews that we watched on our television screen? )
Ramona, Alex, and Sonja actually think that it is safe to go with Kelly. (How much pinot grigio did they sip?)
Clubbing in Marrakesh
Sonja was able to get reservations at an exclusive Middle Eastern restaurant for dinner and Turtle Time. A group of men make eye contact with Sonja. She is the straw that stirs the Moroccan drink. Ramona sees the tables of men putting money in the waist band of the dancer’s costume like the men in the room have done. Ramona tries to fake happiness by dancing with Alex and smiling a lot. Jill sits so far away from Ramona at their table that she is in another room.
The next day, Luann and Ramona remained at the riad to rest while Jill Zarin and the others go with Mustapha, their tour guide to a palace. Jill Zarin played 100 questions with Mustapha and Sonja thought Mustapha is jamil (handsome.) The palace is magnificent but the stories that Mustapha shares with his five NYC wives about four wives and twenty-six concubines leads Jill to say that one day a month is not bad. Mustapha offered his thought that it’s not easy to be a man. The levity is a brief moment of relief for the followers of this band.
Return to the Reality of the Riad and Ramona
Alex finds Ramona in the terrace. Alex listens to Ramona who felt she should have gone with the ladies because she was drained from thinking about the conflict with Jill. Ramona felt that she has lost a 15 to 20 year relationship with Jill Zarin and that relationship was a sham.
Alex tells Ramona that she knows that she made herself vulnerable so that she could resolve the issue with Jill as Alex had made her own self vulnerable and resolved her issues with the burning of the lists in her Brooklyn back yard fire pit. Alex is going to be Ramona’s wing man and unlike Simon van Kempen, Alex’s version of a wing man actually defends and protects.
Alex goes to find Luann who has invited Kelly and Cindy for a henna tattoo session. They are staining their skin when they hear, “Clump, clump, clump.” Alex appears in the doorway in Middle Eastern garb.
Alex is visibly upset and she asks to speak to Luann who invites her to sit down and have a henna tattoo because the cameras are rolling and this is a Luann event. Alex requests a word with Luann who says it is not OK and tells Alex she is interrupting her henna tattoo session. Alex attempts to leave respecting the words of Luann, but she is called back by Cindy to share her thoughts. Alex is shaken, tongue tied, and there are hives creeping up her neck. Luann is forceful and commanding. Alex attempts to present Ramona’s case and is faltering.
There were shades of Scary Island in the Moroccan Desert surface when Kelly says to Alex, “looks weird.” Cindy agrees. Cindy is an expert in knowing what is weird and what is not weird. Kelly says, “Inauthentic.”
Kelly tells us in an interview that Alex acts and imitates Alex on a stage. Alex tries to control Kelly’s barrage while trying to engage Luann but she is wounded by the incoming fire of an angry Luann and controlling Kelly. In an attempt to wage two fronts, Alex tells Kelly that she’s not acting with one breath and shares that she thinks Luann should not engage Ramona for Jill with the next breath. Kelly tells Alex, “Be normal. Go out and come back in! You are acting.” Alex is flummoxed.
Alex asks Kelly for a minute and Kelly says, “You are having an inauthentic moment.”
Alex says to Kelly, “Can you stop for a minute?”
Kelly tells Alex that she is acting “crazy weird.”
Finally, Alex loads her thoughts and fires at Luann with her belief that Ramona was so vulnerable after the conversation with Jill that she was hit by a ton of bricks implying that Luann was wrong to confront Ramona last night after the engagement of Jill Zarin in the red room. Alex says to Luann, “You told me that you weren’t taking sides between them.” Luann quickly answers, “I am not!” Alex counters, “You are taking sides! Every moment of the trip you have been reprimanding Ramona.” Luann asked, “When?” Alex starts to say, “Last night when Ramona was beaten down…..” Luann and Kelly start to laugh. Alex is shocked.
(We are not shocked. We saw the reaction and support that Kelly, Luann and Cindy gave to Jill Zarin concerning what was said in the red room. We have watched the interviews from the past four years. We know what Luann and Kelly think of Ramona. I believe that Jill had discussed her plan before she went to that room. We saw Jill in a discussion with Alex prior to the confrontation. The brunettes had decided that Ramona was at fault before Jill confronted Ramona. The thought that Ramona had feelings and perhaps reasons for her feelings never entered their minds and that is why they laughed.)
Alex said to Luann, “You are a snake to her.” Luann got up and announced, “This conversation is over.” Luann countered, “Go back to the cabinet you crawled out of.” Luann departs.
Scary Tatoo Event in the Desert
Kelly is unable to control her words now. Kelly wants Alex to stop being emotional, odd, weird, and inauthentic. She begins to move back and forth as she tries to remove herself and then comes back again. She moves up and down the hallway with Alex.
Alex tries to explain Ramona’s side. Then, Kelly states in an interview, “Ramona can fight her own battles.” Kelly goes on to say that Alex first tried to fight the battle for Bethenny and now for Ramona. Kelly says, “Alex, give it up. It’s not working.”
Kelly is loud and seems to have lost control of her words and behavior. Alex says, “Can I speak?” Kelly states, “You can’t speak. Trip of a lifetime. People don’t take trips like this.”
Kelly is moving around and she looks at her tattoo and asks, “Who is going to fix this, Santa? For not f****** my tattoo is ruined. I think this is insanity. Stupid.” Alex apologized for the tattoo. Alex says, “I felt….” Kelly answers, “Shhhhh, shhhh. Shhhh.” Alex is silenced.
Cindy sat in silence and watched the conflict. In an interview, Cindy felt sorry for Alex and said, “It’s a disaster.”
Behind Enemy Lines
Jill Zarin was unhappy with her hairdresser so she sought assistance from Alex who does her own hair. Jill’s hairdresser curled her hair into Shirley Temple ringlets. They speak briefly then Kelly leaves and Alex helps Jill with her hair.
Spies and Gathering Information
Sonja tries to lighten the mood so she sneaks downs stairs with Ramona to try on caftans designed by Albert. Ramona gets into the swing and tries on several of the gowns. She actually seems happy on this adventure. Sonja is fun. They avoid the other combatants and giggle as they return to their quarters.
Cutting Supply Lines
Jill, Luann, Kelly and Cindy are upset that the other did not come to dinner in the dining room of the riad at 8 PM. They are gossiping about Alex attempting to be Ramona’s advocate when Alex shows up at the dining room door fifteen minutes late for dinner. She is told she is late, but Alex was never told the time dinner was to be served. She offers to eat a little green something on a cold plate and drink a glass of white wine, when Luann attacks her. Kelly ushers Alex out of the room. Alex tells us in an interview that Kelly has to end any conflicts.
Sonja and Ramona show up for dinner one and one half hours late. Luann,” the RA of the riad,” throws a hissy fit claiming that the riad is not the Plaza and the kitchen was closed. Ramona tries to explain that they had a snack sent to the rooms earlier, but that is not enough for Luann. Sonja, in an interview says that all of her guests would be told the correct time for dinner.
Attempts at Truce
Luann said that she felt bad for Ramona and started to talk about the card reader. Luann acted concerned for Ramona as if she believed that something was wrong in Ramona’s marriage. Ramona attempted to contradict Luann, but Luann has decided that Ramona’s marriage has failed.
Ramona says that she does not believe for one minute that Luann cares about her in an interview.
Behind the Lines and Lies
The next morning, a playful Ramona and Alex wake up a sleeping Sonja and they all smile and laugh.
Cindy thanks Luann for the trip which she really needed. Luann says that she feels like she was hit by a donkey cart carrying two sheep.
Kelly strips down into an exercise bra and shorts to sprint down a path alone.
Jill returns a bathing suit to Ramona and they talk. Jill tells Ramona that she is listening to Bobby’s words of wisdom. They agree to clear the air and start fresh. Jill says that it is a marathon, not a sprint.
Back in NYC, Mario and Simon are playing pool with a friend, Adam. There is a girl leaning over the table and all of the men are paying attention. Simon takes a photo of Mario with the attractive young woman to send to Ramona who Mario thinks is in Dubai. Simon tells Mario his wife is in Morocco. Simon sends the photo to Marakesh.
“The Real Housewives of New York” have a Moroccan cooking lesson in clay pots and share a meal. Cindy doesn’t cook and doesn’t like to cook. Cindy doesn’t care about eating food either. She says, “All of that work for five minute of eating.” The others say Cindy’s staff works, not Cindy.
Everyone gets their makeup done and their eyes are made to look like Nefertiti of Egypt. They dress in their caftans. Then the women share a meal at an exclusive restaurant arranged by Sonja that only the in crowd can get reservations. The women make a toast. Jill Zarin takes a sip of wine. After Jill compliments Kelly’s breasts, they each share what they liked about the trip most:
Jill… the house
Alex started to give a soliloquy and is cut off by the others…
Sonja said Mustapha the “jamil” tourist guide…
Kelly loved her run half naked (black exercise bra and exercise shorts that were slightly larger than a bikini )through a rural village where a woman called out to her in French with the word for” healthy.” We don’t know what the men called out in Arabic.
Cindy loved the camels.
They laughed. They spoke of harmony. Jill Zarin drinks diet soda while the others drink wine.